Cuidadosa Bebe
by goingthroughhellkeepgoing
Summary: Sequel to Bring me back! WARNING: upsetting story lines
1. Chapter 1

Erin Livesy-Walsh had been in the world for two weeks and during that time Aaron had not let her out of his sight. He was determind to experience the first moments of her life. He had stupidly missed out with Freddie and he wished he hadn't, he regretted it so much. So he made sure he done everything for, feed her, put her to sleep, changed her nappies and bathed her. There wasn't a single thing he wasn't going to do or any time he wasn't going to. He barely allowed Jackson or anyone else to get a look in.

"Godd news." Jackson announced as he entered the Kitchen as Smithy Cottage after receiving an important phone call. "That was Mia just on the phone. She's interested in buying Dale Head off of us."

Aaron scoffed. "Bit of a down grade from Home Farm."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "She wants to rent it out to people." He explained. "As soon as contracts are signed we can go ahead with buying one of those houses we were looking at."

"Finally!" Aaron commented. They'd been living back at Smithy Cottage since the fire for nearly a year now. He was glad to be finally moving out. Smithy Cottage wasn't big enough for four adults and three kids. It had once seemed huge when it was just him and Paddy plodding around.

"Knew you would be happy about that." Jackson grinned. "Where's Erin?"

"Asleep, don't disturb her." Aaron told him. He didn't want Erin's routine to be mucked up.

"Fine." Jackson sighed. "Fancy going down the pub tonight? Could do with a break from parenthood. My mum can look after the kids tonight."

"No, you're alright. Don't feel up to it tonight." Aaron answered.

"You sure? Drinks on me?" Jackson tried to push.

Aaron shook his head. He wanted to stay at home with Erin and Freddie.

A week later Aaron was due to start back at work. But he didn't want to. He had gotten comfortable staying at home all day watching over Freddie and taking care of Erin. The thought of returning to work didn't appeal to him. He had to thought. As it was still the summer holidays for Freddie, Aaron took both of his children over to Hazels to be cared for during his time at the garage.

"Make sure you feed her every four hours." Aaron told Hazel. "And she likes the bunny, it's her favourite."

Hazel laughed. "It may have been some twenty-six years ago when I had a baby but I do still remember a few things."

"Yeah I know Hazel. I just . . ." Aaron mumbled as he handed her a bag full of Erin's things.

"She's in a safe hands, they both are." Hazel told him smiling at Freddie who was routing through his toy box in Hazel's living room.

Aaron sent a smile towards Hazel. He couldn't stop himself from fretting. It pained him to go to work. But cain needed him back. "You behave yourself." Aaron said to Freddie who continued looking for a toy before turning to Erin. She was asleep in her buggy. He leant over and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Now go!" Hazel said pushing him out her door. "And don't even think about popping over on your break. I want some time with my grandchildren."

His mind hadn't been focused on the work Cain had presented him with. He kept staring off into space wondering if Hazel was doing things properly, if she got Erin off to sleep without any problems or she couldn't get the milk the right temperature. Cain had caught him for the fourth time that morning standing still. Aaron was staring at the car's engine but not actually doing anything. He didn't even look like he was trying to work out what was wrong with the car, he was staring straight through it.

"Aaron!" Cain shouted across the forecourt, snapping Aaron out of his day dream. "I know it's your first day back for a while now but that doesn't mean you can stand around doing nothing. I pay you to work!"

Aaron didn't even seem to be listening, he dropped his tools and began to take his overalls off. What the hell was he doing?

"Aaron!" Cain yelled after him as the young mechanic marched down the forecourt ignoring his uncles calls.

It wasn't long later that Hazel got a knock at her door and Aaron walking straight through. He didn't say a word as he collected Erin's things together and took hold of Freddie's hand. Not even a 'hello' Hazel's way.

"Aaron? Aren't you supposed to be at work? Hazel said as she strolled through from the kitchen, tea towel in hand as she watched Aaron.

"Taken the afternoon off." Aaron told her. "Missed these two." He smiled as he ruffled Freddie's hair.

"I can still look after these two. You should take a break, you look as though you need one. I was going to take them to the park later." Hazel said to him. She didn't want her day cut short with her grandchildren and Aaron really did look as though he could do with a break. She's barely seen Erin since her birth.

"Nah, you're alright." Aaron said before he began to push Erin's buddy towards the door. "Come on Freddie. Say goodbye to Nana Hazel."

"But I wanted to go to the park with Nana Hazel!" Hazel could hear Freddie Whine as the front door closed behind them.

Jackson had gotten a call from his mum just as he was taking a lunch break at work. He'd been working for a large company in Hotton for a couple of days now, along with other builders on a new office. He'd answered his phone as soon as he had gotten inside his van.

"Alright mum." Jackson greeted over the phone.

"Yeah I'm alright. How are you?" Hazel answered.

"I'm good, how's the kids?" Jackson asked, he knew Aaron had taken them over that morning.

"Alright, didn't get five minutes with them though."

"Ah? Why, where are they?" He questioned confused.

"Aaron came round twenty minutes ago." Hazel explained. "He took Freddie and Erin home."

Aaron was supposed to be at work.

". . . he won't let them out of his sight." Hazel continued. "He'll smother them if he's not careful."

Jackson had noticed. Aaron was constantly fussing over Erin. He barely got a look in. Whenever she cried during the night Aaron was out of bed and soothing her before Jackson could realise what the noise was. He couldn't remember the last time he had fed their daughter. Again, Aaron always saw to that. He's witnessed the younger man making a bottle up, heating it, checking it and then pouring it down the drain, too only repeat the whole thing again another five times. He'd wasted no end of milk formulae. It wasn't the first time he had done something like that either. Jackson had brushed it off to Aaron not wanting to make any mistakes. It wasn't as if he had that much experience from Freddie. He just hoped that it wouldn't get worse.

"Alright mum, I'll have a word with him later." Jackson sighed. "I've got to get back to work. I'll make sure to call you later."

"Just make sure you do then." Hazel said before hanging up.

He didn't expect to come home to find the state of the kitchen Aaron had done. It looked like every single one of Erin's baby bottles were lined up on the side. Some were empty, others had made up milk formulae in and the rest were half made. On the work top there was a mixture of powered formulae, spilt milk and puddles of water. The microwave door was open and inside was more bottles and more mess. What had Aaron been up to? The place was a mess, it had been spotless when they had both left for work. He picked up the formulae container on his way through to the lounge to find it empty. He swore it was full this morning when he'd watched Aaron preparing Erin's bottles for Hazel.

Inside the lounge, Freddie was playing on the Xbox while Aaron sat on the sofa feeding their daughter her bottle. His clothes were a mess stained with spilt milk and powder.

"Aaron what on Earth has happened in the Kitchen?" Jackson exclaimed.

"Don't worry I'll sort it." Aaron snapped, not removing his eyes from Erin.

"Now Aaron. You've wasted another full container of Formulae! It's expensive, we can't keep paying out for it." Jackson shot back at him waving the tin in his hand. "How many bottles have you made before that one?"

"I need to put Erin down." Aaron muttered as he tried to get past Jackson.

"I'll do that." Jackson insisted holding his hands out to take her.

"No! I will." Aaron snapped weaving his way past.

It should only take ten minutes to put their daughter to bed so when Aaron didn't return fifteen minutes later, Jackson set to work in clearing away the kitchen. Paddy and Rhona wouldn't want to come back from her mums tomorrow to a messy kitchen. It wasn't fair. Just as he was cleaning the bottles Aaron had made it downstairs. As soon as he saw what Jackson was doing he shoved the older man out of the way.

"I'll do that." Aaron told him harshly as he began to furiously scrub at the plastic.

Jackson didn't argue. He stepped back and let the young mechanic continue with what he was doing. But he had seen enough. Something was wrong, seriously wrong. Aaron just wasn't. . . it was unhealthy. He was scared of anybody going near Erin or her things. What parent made fifteen bottles of milk before settling with the sixteenth one? He was taking it on all by himself, no one could do that. Not even him. As Jackson looked at him now, really looked at him, he saw how bad he really looked. He was exhausted, bags underneath his eyes and he looked anxious, on edge. He was thinner as well, way thinner than he was before Erin. He needed to look after himself. Otherwise he was going to make himself ill.

"I'm just going to make a call." Jackson mumbled as slipped out of the house. It was still light out so Jackson wondered down to the bench outside the phone box and dialled his mother's number.

"Something's wrong mum." Jackson said as soon as she picked up.

A/N – So what do you think? Here it is sequel to Bring me back! Tell me what you think, I'd love to know. Thank you for all the lovely reviews in the previous fanfic, they were fantastic! I hope I can live up to expectations for this one. I have a few ideas on where to go. I never really plan out where I go with fanfics. Whatever I feel like writing or whatever idea I have at the moment I just run with it. It's silly I know, most sensible people plan ahead so they don't get stuck. But hey, worked so far right? :P Anyway! Enjoy! 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, like usual, Aaron was up with Erin already. Jackson had woken to an empty bed. He quickly got dressed before going downstairs to the kitchen. He wanted to feed Erin this morning, or at least do something for her. Aaron was taking control of everything that concerned her. He found Aaron in the kitchen trying to make Erin her morning bottle. Freddie was seated in the lounge, watching TV and munching on cereal. Never allowed that, they had always taught Freddie to eat his meals at the table.

"Why isn't Freddie eating in here?" Jackson asked as he heard their son laughing at some cartoon on the screen.

"He wanted to eat in there." Aaron shrugged irritably as he concentrated on getting the exact amount described in the instructions on the back of the tin.

"Aaron, we've taught him to eat meals at the kitchen table." Jackson sighed. "He shouldn't be eating in there!"

"Whatever!" Aaron snapped as poured the formulae back into the container to start again. At least he wasn't using all the bottles. That was a step forward.

"Here." Jackson said taking the container from Aaron's hands. "I'll do that."

"What? No!" Aaron exclaimed snatching the container back from Jackson. Panic beginning to rise in him.

"Aaron, I said I'll do it." Jackson said firmly, taking it back from the young mechanic. "Go upstairs, shower, get dressed and go to work."

Aaron glared at Jackson. He didn't want to go upstairs and do as he said. Erin needed him!

When Aaron made no move to go upstairs, Jackson repeated himself. "Aaron. Go. Now."

He shot him one finale glare before grudgingly sloping upstairs.

"Finally." Jackson sighed.

For the first time in ages Jackson was doing something for his daughter! Once here bottle was made she went through to the lounge to feed her. Erin hadn't even finished her bottle when Aaron came running down the stairs in a rush. Jackson noted that he had done as he was told and taken a shower albeit it was a very quick one. Aaron's hair was still wet, missing the usual gel he ran through his spiky tufts and it looked like he had thrown whatever he could find on, some of them being his clothes.

"Aaron go back upstairs and get changed." Jackson told him as he scanned his attire.

"What? Why?" Aaron asked looking down at himself.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Nothing matches."

It was true what he said. Aaron had a pair of navy trackies on, a khaki green hoodie and a white t-shirt.

"Go on! Get changed!-" Jackson finished as he sat Erin up and began to rub her back.

"You're doing it wrong!" Aaron exclaimed. He flung himself to his knees in front of Jackson on the sofa and took Erin from his hands.

"Aaron!" Jackson was stunned. He knew how to care for a baby. He'd cared for Freddie not so long ago.

"Shh!" Aaron snapped as he stood up and lulled around the room with Erin in his arms.

"You're unbelievable." Jackson muttered as he left the room. "Come on Freddie, let's take you to your Nan's."

He'd didn't bother to check if Aaron was going to work. He picked out clothes for Freddie to change into from his pyjamas and took him over to Hazel's for the day before heading off to work. He didn't even say a 'goodbye' to Aaron as he headed out the door. Like usual, he was too busy fussing over Erin. Jackson didn't want to become jealous over a baby, but it was starting to look that way. He wasn't jealous of her, he was jealous for her. He was jealous that Aaron was stealing her away all the time. It had pissed him off that morning when Aaron had snatched her from him. It had hurt having his daughter taken from him. He couldn't go on like it. He'd wait and see what other people thought before doing anything. After all, Paddy and Rhona hadn't said anything, or anyone else. Just he and his mum had noticed. Maybe it was him overreacting. He should be happy that Aaron's taken an interest in their daughter. It had taken months for him to connect with Freddie. He should be grateful he kept telling himself.

He hadn't had time to talk to his mother in the morning, he'd been running late for work when he'd had to drop Freddie off. So when he went back after work to collect his son, she'd cooked him dinner and made him a cup of tea ready for when he walked through the door, eager to get her son to talk. She was just as concerned as he was.

"Mum, you shouldn't have." Jackson protested as he saw the meal she's laid out on the kitchen table for him. Freddie was in the lounge watching a DVD having already eaten his an hour earlier.

"I made Freddie some and I had a little extra left over." Hazel shook off as she ushered him to the chair at the table.

"Thanks. But a 'little' extra?" Jackson laughed as he saw the mounds of food on his plate.

Hazel shrugged her shoulders. "Alright you caught me. But you can't be eating well, a new baby and everything else going on." She said. "Besides it isn't as though Aaron's going to notice you're not back."

True, Jackson thought.

Jackson dug into his meal, hungry after a decent days worth of work. It wasn't until he was nearly finished that Hazel took up a seat at the kitchen table.

"How were things this morning? You seemed a bit. . .narked." Hazel commented.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Still the same. He's. . . I was feeding Erin this morning." Jackson told her. "I suppose that's a break through, can't remember the last time I done that. But. . . Argh- he just snatched her from and yelled at me for doing to wrong."

Hazel pulled a face. "You took care of Freddie alright."

"I know." Jackson sighed. "I just . . .I don't know."

"Is he at work now?" Hazel asked, she had assumed he was at home with Erin.

"No, he's at home." Jackson corrected her. "Cain's been on my case because he's not answering his texts."

Hazel sighed and took a moment to think how she was going to word her next sentence. "Jackson . . . Do you maybe think that, just maybe, he could have PND again?"

Jackson tried to think about what his mother had just suggested. PND? But Aaron was head over heels for Erin, he would do anything. It didn't make sense. "No." Jackson said shaking his head. "He's not like how he was with Freddie."

"Jackson it can take on different forms." Hazel explained to her son, placing a hand on his. "He's possessive, you even told me last what he keeps doing with Erin's feed. He needs to see a doctor."

"I thought maybe he was just . . ." Jackson said trailing off as the thought started to sound ridiculous even to himself in his head. "Never mind. What am I gonna do mum?"

"Tell Paddy and Chas. You can leave Freddie with me at the moment if you want." Hazel instructed him. "He's quite happy. He might not understand that one of his daddy's is poorly."

Jackson dropped his head in hands and let out a breath. "Oh god mum, why now? Why again?" Jackson asked. "He doesn't deserve it twice!"

"I know love." Hazel soothed. "But we'll get him through this."

Back at Smithy Cottage Aaron was upstairs in their bedroom. Erin was sleeping peacefully in her cot while Aaron sat on the edge of the bed jittering his leg anxiously as he watched her. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, he needed to make sure she was safe at all times. He didn't hear Jackson arrive home or even notice that he was home late. He was too concerned by the little life in his care. He didn't want to mess a single thing up for her. He didn't know why but he couldn't control the growing fear and anxiety inside of him as he watched Jackson with Erin earlier. He'd had the quickest shower ever when he knew Jackson was downstairs feeding her. No sooner had he jumped in had he gotten out and threw on whatever was closest to him. The whole time he kept going over and over in his head, had Jackson gotten the milk the right temperature, was he holding her right, was she eating, was he being careful. He just couldn't stop the thoughts rushing through his mind. Even now he was scared. But why?

Downstairs, Jackson was checking the coast was clear for Aaron. He could hear Paddy in the lounge talking to Rhona about one of his clients that day so finding him hadn't been so hard. It was trying to explain to Paddy that he and Hazel thought Aaron might have PND again. It was hard enough the first time round.

"Paddy, could I have a word please?" Jackson asked him. "Sorry Rhona."

"Yeah sure!" The older man had responded jumping to his feet and following Jackson through to the kitchen. "What's it about?"

"Aaron. . ." Jackson started.

Paddy lent his head back in understanding. The young mechanic was often troubled. "What's wrong?"

"I think he might have PND." Jackson told him straight out.

"Again?" Paddy exclaimed loudly.

Jackson shot him a warning look, frightened in case Aaron had heard.

"Sorry." Paddy apologised sheepishly. "Again?" He repeated.

The builder nodded his head. "'fraid so." He sighed.

"But he's seems- h-he seems perfectly fine to me." Paddy rambled. "He's amazing with Erin, from what I've seen."

"When was the last time you saw anyone but Aaron caring for her?" Jackson asked him.

He could see Paddy thinking it over in his head, trying to remember. He couldn't.

"Exactly." Jackson said when he saw Paddy register what he was getting at. "He won't let her out of her sight. The other night he'd made about fifteen bottles before he only used one." He admitted to the older man. "He's not sleeping properly, I doubt he's eating right. He's a mess."

"I would have noticed-." Paddy said, he didn't want to believe his surrogate son had gotten PND again. It wasn't fair the first time round let alone a second.

Jackson shook his head. "You wouldn't have. I didn't have till the other day." Jackson admitted. "My mum was actually the one who pointed it out."

"Have you told Chas?" Paddy asked.

"No not yet, thought I would tell you first."

"Thank you."

In the end it was Paddy who told Chas. It had been five days since Jackson had confessed his worries for the younger man to Paddy. And in those five days they'd tried to get through to Aaron. Chas had popped over a few times with gifts for Erin, trying to tempt Aaron to let her see for a bit. But he didn't. He'd barely left their room for the last three days and it seemed things were only getting worse the harder they tried to get to him. He wouldn't let them.

"I want to see my daughter!" Jackson fumed as he let off some steam to Paddy in the kitchen.

"Shh! He'll hear you." Paddy hissed glancing up at the ceiling.

"I don't care! Let him!" Jackson spat. He was beyond annoyed on the verge of going over angry. He wanted to see his daughter. He wanted to care for her, hold her. But he couldn't. Aaron wouldn't let him. He was getting more possessive as the days went and his constant snapping was sending Jackson up the walls.

"Jackson . . ." Paddy tried to calm.

He stood for a moment, breathing deeply as he stared at the floor, back resting against the worktop as he thought. Fuck it! He thought. Pushing himself up he stormed towards the stairs.

"Jackson!" Paddy shouted after him. It was going to end in tears.

"No! I want to hold my daughter! He can't stop me!" Jackson barked as he flew up the stairs.

He burst into the bedroom. Erin was laying in her cot, staring up at her butterfly mobile as Aaron sat on the bed staring off into thin air. He didn't care right now if Aaron was okay, or even bothered about what he thinking of. He just wanted to be a parent to his daughter and Aaron wasn't going to stop him. Just as he was halfway across the room towards Erin, Aaron snapped out of his thoughts. He jumped to his feet and tried to step in front of Jackson stopping him.

"What you doing?" Aaron asked shakily as he watched Jackson stand near Erin's cot.

Jackson shot him a glare not even gracing his boyfriend with an answer.

"Jackson. . .?" Aaron asked again.

Jackson leant over and picked Erin up, smiling at her as she flung her little arms out. "Hello baby girl."

"Jackson!" Aaron snapped. He wasn't answering him.

Again, he ignored Aaron and turned towards the door.

No, he couldn't take his daughter! Erin needed him. Stepping into action Aaron stepped in front of the doorway again.

Aaron blocking his way, he needed to get downstairs. "Aaron just move." He sighed, he was tired of it all now.

"No." Aaron argued.

"Aaron!" Jackson emphasised. "Just move."

He didn't have the patients. With Erin in one arm Jackson channelled all his anger and annoyance towards Aaron through his arm and pushed him out of the way. He stumbled slightly, knocked his head on the corner of the dresser. He didn't intend for that to happen. Just a little shove to get him out of the way maybe. "Aaron you okay?" Jackson asked, he'd felt that.

"Yeah. Fine." Aaron snapped with his head still down.

Satisfied with the answer, Jackson carried on downstairs with Erin. He was going to take her to his mums. He wouldn't be surprised if Aaron interfered if he stayed at Smithy Cottage, so Hazel's seemed like a safe bet. Chas was caring for Freddie for the evening, having already planned on taking him to Lisa and Zac's later, so he needn't worry about him.

"Where you going?" Paddy asked he placed Erin in her Buggy.

"To my mums." Jackson answered.

"Everything okay then?" Paddy asked hopefully.

Jackson sighed. "Just make sure Aaron's okay." He said before leaving.

A/N – Thank you for all the kind reviews so far and thank you so much for reading. I love to know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Paddy had left it half an hour before he went upstairs in the wake of Jackson's departure. He had plenty of experience to know that in these situations it was best to leave the younger man to cool down for a little while before approaching. He climbed the stairs with two cups of tea in his hand and knocked on Aaron and Jackson's bedroom door a few times.

"Aaron. . ." Paddy called through the wood when he heard no response. "Aaron!"

Nothing.

Paddy sighed and placed one cup of tea on the floor beside the wall before opening the door himself.

Aaron was sitting on the floor his arms wrapped around his knees as he stared in front of him. He must have been to deep in thought to even hear him, Paddy had assumed as he'd picked up the tea again and walked into the room. As he got closer he noticed the cut on Aaron's brow, a steady flow of blood was slowly trickling down his face. What an earth had gone on?

"I've made you a cup of tea." Paddy told him as set it on the floor beside him.

Aaron didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge him.

"Aaron, what happened?" Paddy asked as he sat down beside him but still facing him.

"He took Erin." Aaron said almost robotically.

Paddy outstretched a hand to turn Aaron head to face him, so he could get a better look at his cut. "How'd you do that?" Paddy questioned. It wasn't too deep; he could patch it up himself if the younger man would allow him.

Aaron pulled his face from Paddy's grip and stumbled to his feet, knocking the cup of tea over. He didn't notice.

"Aaron!" Paddy exclaimed as the tea began to stain the carpet.

"S'okay." Aaron mumbled as he began to search for his phone.

"Aaron what are you doing?" Paddy asked as he watched the mechanic pull draws out and throw things behind him as he searched manically for his phone.

"Where's is it! It's here somewhere!" Aaron snapped as he began to get angry. He needed to call Jackson, find out where he was. He didn't know where Erin was! He should know.

Paddy got to his feet and went over to the younger man, he needed to calm him down. "Aaron. . ." Paddy said as he grabbed hold of Aaron's shoulders. "Calm down, it's bound to be around here somewhere."

"I can't find it!" Aaron cried as he struggled against Paddy.

"If you calm down, I'll help you look for it." Paddy told him, slowly loosening his grip on Aaron.

They both searched around the bedroom, looking through drawers and underneath furniture. Aaron swore he'd left it upstairs somewhere. Eventually they found it. It was behind Aaron's head board with number other objects that had long been forgotten. It must have been down their for weeks or more, as Aaron turned it on. Several texts appeared on his screen and numerous of missed phone calls showed at the top, many of which were from Cain.

"What you doing now?" Paddy asked Aaron as he began dialing a number.

"Jackson . . . He's got Erin." Aaron told him in a matter of fact manner. Was he stupid?

"Let's get that cut seen to first, eh?" Paddy suggested trying to tilt Aaron's head towards him.

Aaron moved out of Paddy's reach and continued to call Jackson. He began to grow frustrated when Jackson didn't pick up on the other end. "Come on!" Aaron seethed as he listened to the Voicemail greeting once more.

"Aaron-."

"No!" Aaron snapped dialling the number once more. "Argh!" He roared as the voicemail greeting sounded again, he launched his phone towards the opposite wall. It smashed as soon as it hit the blue covered brickwork. He rubbed his hands over his head. A sign Paddy had picked up to show that the younger man was getting really aggravated. "Why won't he pick up?" Aaron sobbed.

"It's okay, he might have left his phone here." Paddy lied, hoping there was a valid reason why Jackson was. He had to admit Jackson losing his rag and storming out the house to his mothers wasn't the best idea. They all knew Aaron wasn't well again.

"But Paddy, I need to find Erin. It's nearly her bed time and her whole routine is going to be fucked up!" Aaron rushed feeling the panic which usually sat like lead in his stomach beginning to rise. It was getting too much.

"Aaron you need to calm down." Paddy said as he saw the young man beginning to get stressed. He was panicking. His breathing was starting to become erratic, which only meant one thing. "Aaron. . ."

"No. . . No- I need to . . . I need to find Jackson." Aaron panted between breaths, like everything else he didn't even notice the difficulty it was for him to breath.

"Copy what I do." Paddy said sternly as he took hold of Aaron's shoulders again.

The younger man only wriggled to get out of the hold. Why didn't Paddy understand that he needed to find Jackson? It was Erin's bed time soon and she needed to be at home with him.

"Aaron!" Paddy barked, rudely alarming the younger man.

Aaron's attention was now on him. He stared at Paddy almost scared, still struggling for breath.

"Take deep breaths Aaron, you hear me!" Paddy ordered, he needed to be cruel to be kind.

Aaron nodded and started to copy what the vet was doing. It was like watching some middle aged instructor at a prenatal class.

It was an hour later when Paddy had finally gotten the younger man to calm down clean up the cut on his forehead. He'd sat him on the edge of the bath tub as he cleaned his cut, it wasn't as deep as he thought but it had bleed a lot. He was surprised Aaron wasn't too bothered by it. Paddy had then told Aaron to go sit down stairs as he made him a cup of tea. They couldn't keep tip toeing around the subject, they needed to tackle it head on. In the morning he would do just that. For now he needed to make sure Aaron kept okay and the kids were alright. Chas had taken Freddie over to wishing well cottage for the evening but he needed to call her to ask her if Freddie could stay with her for a couple of nights. It wasn't right that he would have to witness Aaron going through PND again. The next thing on his list was to gather together ad few things for Erin so she could stay with Hazel for the night and try and persuade Jackson to come home. He needed him. Aaron needed him.

With a little persuasion and a long time after Hazel and Chas had come over for things for the kids Jackson came home. He still looked pissed. Paddy could understand but right now his main priority was making sure Aaron was going to be okay.

"Where is he?" Jackson sighed tugging his jacket off.

"In the lounge." Paddy answered him, anxious about Jackson was going to do or say.

He didn't say anything else to Paddy as he walked through the kitchen, ditching his jacket on the table as he passed.

"Oh god Aaron!" Jackson exclaimed shocked at what he'd done to his boyfriend when he saw him lying on the sofa. "I didn't- . . . I'm sorry." He breathed as he ran a thumb lightly over the patched up cut. Paddy had managed to stick strips of micropore tape across the slit above Aaron's brow.

"I know I shouldn't have, but I slipped him a sleeping pill." Paddy admitted to Jackson, to explain the calm and sleeping state of his boyfriend. "Otherwise he would have been climbing the walls."

"It's alright." Jackson assured him. He could remember how Paddy described him on the phone, trying to reason with him. It made his heart clench as he had listened to the vet telling him about Aaron's eratic state. How could he not come home to Aaron? He needed him. He knew that now, more than ever. He felt foolish for storming out earlier, leeting his emotions take control when really he should have there for Aaron. He couldn't believe he had hurt Aaron either, in his angered drive. Not that Aaron had noticed. Accoding to Paddy, the younger man didn't seem to notice. "It's late, lets just go to bed and sort things out in the morning." Jackson said to Paddy with a yawn. It was getting late, very late. They all needed a decent nights sleep if they were going to seriously tackle things the next day.

Jackson woke before anyone else in the house, so he could get himself sorted before Aaron woke. He was determind to get Aaron back on track and get their family back together again. He made two rounds of toast and poured a glass of orange juice before he went through to the lounge to wake Aaron up. He hated to think how stiff Aaron would be after sleping a whole night on the soga but there was no way Paddy and him were going to try to pull him up the stairs the night before. He placed the breakfast he made on the coffee table and crouched down in front of Aaron's sleeping form.

"Wake up babe." Jackson said sofelty as he shook Aaron's shoulder. "I've made you breakfast."

A moan escaped Aaron's lips as he began to stif and stretch out.

"Morning." Jackson smiled.

"Aaron opened his eyes and stared round the room, trying to get his bearings. Panic started to rise inside of him as Erin rushed to the front of his mind. He'd forgotten about her for a split second. He'd slept right through the night. He hadn't woken up for Erin, not once. Aaron quickly flung back the blanket, Jackson had laid across him last night and tried to scramble off the sofa in a haste.

"Woah, calm down." Jackson ordered as he directed Aaron back down onto the sofa. "She's okay, I promise." He told him guessing what his boyfriends sudden panic had been about. "I've made you breakfast, which you're going to eat and then you're going to get washed and dressed."

He knew that was the first time Aaron had slept though the night in a long while. Through the last stages of the pregnancy he'd been shifting around beside him all hours of the night trying to get comfortable and he'd hoped when Erin was born the both of them would sleep easier. After all Freddie hadn't been a screaming baby. But then it didn't get better. Even thought Erin wouldn't wake up screaming during the night, Aaron would still wake up countless of times to check on her and that was only when he actually got to sleep most nights. Jackson also knew that Aaron hadn't eaten a decent meal since Erin was born either. He was focused on their daughter that he forgot all about himself. All that was going to change, starting from that day onwards, Jackson was going to make sure Aaron Livesy slept, that he ate three meals a day and took care of himself.

Once Aaron had finished his breakfast with Jackson watching him carefully, the older man led him upstairs to the bathroom. He ran the shower as Aaron stood by the door, constantly asking him where Erin was. He'd stopped him searching for her as he'd headed towards their bedroom. He ignored each question thought and left the room telling him to shower. He waited for him outside with a set of clothes, clothes that actually matched and weren't old or stained.

"Put these on." Jackson instructed him when Aaron opened the bathroom door, towel wrapped around his waist. He handed him a pair of jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt.

"Jackson . . . Where's Erin?" Aaron asked calmly, unlike before when he'd been shooting numerous questions at him.

"She's safe, like I promised." Jackson told him, he didn't want to tell him exactly where she was. He feared that Aaron would run and get here, when really he needed to talk. He needed to talk to Jackson. How many times had they tried to get Aaron to open up and talk before? "Right now we need to concentrate on you."

"What? Why? I'm fine." Aaron snapped. He never did like people fussing.

"Aaron, you're far from fine." Jackson laughed quietly. "But you will be."

A/n – Hope you enjoyed that, received so many lovely reviews so far. I love to see the different views and opinions you each share and how you see it all. It's fantastic! I love to know what you think. Sadly I doubt I will be updating at all tomorrow, I'm busy all day with numerous of things, I'll be running round like a headless chicken. But! I am trying to get a head start on many of my other fanfics today, whether I will manage to update them today that's a different story. If not hang fire till the weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

Jackson had made Aaron another cup of tea and sat him down in the Kitchen. Nobody was around to disturb them so they could talking without any distraction. Its what they needed if they were gong to work things out. Aaron sat oppoisite him looking lost and confused at what was going on. Every now and again he would take a sip from his cup, unable to sit still.

"Aaron you need to listen to me okay?" Jackson started looking directly into his blue eyes.

Aaron nodded his head. He was beginning to feel uneasy. Why was Jackson being so serious?

"Can you remember when you had Freddie, you felt scared and upset all the time?" Jackson asked, Aaron nodded his head again. "Do you feel like that now? Have these feelings returned?"

"Jackson, why asking me these-?" Aaron began, pulling a face.

"I need you to answer me truthfully Aaron." Jackson said firmly. " I need to know."

"So do you, do you feel the same?" Jackson asked again. "It's okay if you do . . ."

Aaron remained silent. He understood what Jackson was asking him, he just couldn't understand what he was feeling. He couldn't be feeling upset, could he? Not if he wanted Erin. He'd felt upset, terrified and sheer panicked when Freddie was born. But he wanted Erin, he wasn't scared of her. When he'd first held Freddie he knew he wasn't safe with him, he didn't feel as though he could protect him, keep him safe. He was frightened to mess up and do something wrong for the poor lad. Where as with Erin he felt an overpowering need to keep her safe, he needed to protect her, he needed to watch her. He felt cheated of Freddie's first moments and he didn't want that to happen with Erin.

"Aaron . . ."

As he thought about it more, he did feel scared. He did feel terrified. He was terrified on missing out. There was a constant presence of panic inside of him. It wasn't the same fear he had over Freddie. But it was there. Aaron licked his lips. "I'm so scared Jackson." Aaron whispered barely audible to Jackson's ears. "I'm so scared!"

Jackson quickly got to his feet and knelt down beside Aaron's chair. He took hold of one of Aaron's hands as the younger man began to cry, with his other hand he wiped away the tears that were slowly creeping down his face. "It's okay." Jackson promised him. "I'll get us through this."

"What's happening, Jackson?" Aaron cried.

"You've got PND again, but it's okay – we're gonna get you through this." Jackson told him softly as he held him.

The next couple of hours they spent talking. They spoke about how Aaron felt. He didn't realise he'd been feeling such a mess until he opened up to Jackson. It was such an eye opener telling Jackson just how he felt. How had he been so oblivious to the signs? Jackson explained to him that it was okay, he wouldn't have realised by himself. He wasn't experiencing the exact same symptoms as before but instead he was doing quite the opposite to before. He needed to learn to let Erin go sometimes, that was all. If he could do just that, they'd be okay. If not he would break apart their family and he couldn't be responsible for that. He'd come from a broken family and look what it had done to him! He wasn't going to do the same to his children, they didn't deserve that.

"I'm gonna go pick Freddie and Erin up from our Mums'." Jackson called up to Aaron as he put his coat on.

He'd told Aaron to go upstairs and take a decent rest to make up for all the sleepless nights he'd been through the past several weeks. If he was going to get better he needed to be well rested. A tired Aaron was an unstable Aaron.

"I'll see you in a bit then!" Jackson called to Aaron again, standing at the bottom of the stairs for a moment for a response from Aaron. Nothing. He must still be asleep he thought. He was exhausted so no wonder.

He went to Hazel's first to collect Erin. He wanted to assure her everything was going to be okay. He told her he'd spoken to Aaron and he'd promised to try. She's been sceptical at his explanation, she knew full well that miracles didn't happen over night. It was going to take time. Like last to with Freddie, only this time they had Freddie and Erin to think of. They both needed the same amount of attention.

"Just make sure you put Freddie and Erin first though." Hazel warned him. "No matter what think of those two first, you're not twenty three no more and he's not eighteen either."

"Yes, I know." Jackson sighed with a roll of his eyes. He hated how protective his mother could be sometimes. "Aaron's ill and he'll get better. Just in time."

Hazel raised her eyebrows. "Just you remember those two, that's all." She told him. "You can't keep sending them off to me or Chas when you two need to sort things out."

"Don't you think I know that." Jackson snapped, he wasn't in the mood for one of his mother's lectures or power rants. "It isn't Aaron's fault when he gets ill. Do you think he asked to get PND both times? Because it isn't a bunch of roses for him either!"

"Jackson, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry." Hazel apologised. She was only concerned for her grandchildren.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for losing it with you." Jackson sighed. "It's just tough at the moment."

"I understand." Hazel assured him. "Go on, go get Freddie. He's most probably running rings round Chas, you know what she's like."

It was seven a clock by the time he got back from picking both of their children up from their grandmothers'. Aaron was awake when they got back, he was in the kitchen leaning his back against the countertop as he chewed on his thumb, anxious about something. Jackson told Freddie to go upstairs and get changed into his pyjamas while he got his dinner on. He wanted to talk to Aaron, he looked shaken up again. He kept Erin in her buggy and pushed her into the lounge before returning to Aaron.

"You okay?" Jackson asked him rubbing a hand up and down Aaron's upper arm.

Aaron nodded his head. "Yeah I'm fine. Just wondered where you went."

"Sure?" Jackson asked sensing there was more.

"I just want to hold Erin." Aaron admitted pain evident in his eyes as he expressed what he was feeling. The pull towards Erin was stronger now. It was easier to say to Jackson he'd take a step back slightly from Erin when she wasn't in the house. But now that she was he didn't think he could do that. It seemed impossible. It was taking everything he had not to go through to the lounge and watch Erin sleep. Soon it would be here bath time and Aaron was fighting the impulse to go upstairs and run her a bath.

"You're doing good okay." Jackson assured him. "Want to help me cook dinner? Erin's okay for now."

Aaron looked anxiously towards the lounge before agreeing to help. Jackson said she was okay and he had to trust that she was.

A/N – Sorry for such a wait for an update. I've been incredibly busy lately. This is a little rubbish for an update, but it's just a filler. Hope it was enough, let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

A few days later and Aaron was no better. He still found it difficult to hold back. The strong urge to take care of their daughter, to protect her was on the fore front of his mind every second of the day. He needed to make sure she was okay. He needed to know she was. It killed him to sit back and allow Jackson to take care of their baby girl after he'd been doing every single thing for her since the day she born. He knew it was silly. He knew Jackson had as much right and was just as capable of taking care of Erin as he was.

"You're mum invited us over for lunch today." Jackson said as they stood in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast. "I said we'd go."

"Yeah." Aaron answered taking his time buttering his toast. By the time he would be done spreading the margarine over his toasted bread it was going to be cold. He was trying to resist the need to check on Erin. He had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that she wasn't, that he needed to go check up on, see her breathing, sleeping, even though they were aware that she was okay by the baby monitor on the counter top. They could hear her breathing softly in her sleep as they stood in the kitchen.

Jackson stirred the milk into their coffees and placed the spoon down. He could tell that Aaron was on edge. He kept looking towards the stairs every so often. He knew the younger man needed to see Erin, to check on her. When they had woken up, Aaron had sat in bed, biting the skin on his knuckles with a clenched fist as he stared at Erin's cot. He'd managed to get through to the young man, show him how he needed to get better, and Aaron had taken it on board. The young mechanic had held back, as hard as it was for him and as much as it killed him he didn't go racing out of bed to check on Erin. He knew Aaron had been up most of the night, staring at Erin's cot where she slept. However, unlike most nights he hadn't gotten out of bed to heck on her. It was tiny progress even if it did mean Aaron was still exhausted. It was a step further.

"Daddy can I wear my Spiderman costume round Nana's today!" Freddie asked as he came thundering down the stairs, already wearing his costume on over his pyjamas. He'd been attached to the costume all yesterday since Paddy had brought it home for him that morning. It had taken them a good half an hour to talk him out of it for be.

"Course you can. But get changed out of your PJ's first." Jackson told him, smiling at the little boy.

Freddie grinned and raced back upstairs. He was going to wake Erin up if he wasn't careful and it was pushing Aaron towards the edge as he spread the butter harder onto his toast, breaking the bread.

"Here, take this. I'll make you some fresh toast." Jackson said handing Aaron his coffee and taking the butter knife from his partner. He binned the cold broken toast and popped a couple of fresh pieces of toast in the toaster while Aaron took a seat at the table, taking tiny sips from his coffee.

Ten minutes later and Freddie came racing back downstairs, dressed in a pair of jeans and stripy navy and green top poking out from underneath his Spiderman costume. He ran past them in kitchen and into the living room where James was watching T.V and Rhona was on the phone.

"Haven't eaten much." Jackson commented looking at Aaron's plate of half eaten toast.

"Not hungry." He said pushing the plate away and sipping at his Luke warm coffee.

"Saving your appetite for your mum's dinner, eh?" Jackson said, hoping he was.

"Yeah." Aaron nodded before they could here Erin crying over the monitor.

"You go." Jackson said, nodding his head towards the stairs. He couldn't do everything for Erin. Aaron had to do a few things for her, he couldn't control everything that happened around their daughter.

"Sure?" Aaron questioned.

Jackson nodded his head with a smile.

That was all he needed before he shot off towards the stairs, going to Erin's need. She was laying in her coat, bawling her eyes out having just woken up. Her little eye's screwed up tightly as tears ran down her face. Aaron carefully swooped her up into his arms and cradled her to his chest, lulling her in his arms as he tried to calm her down. She was hungry.

"Jackson-." Aaron began when he walked into the kitchen with Erin still crying. He was about to ask if he could make a bottle up for her. He was asking Jackson to do it instead of him because he took forever to make just one bottle up for her. He kept panicking in case he'd gotten it at the wrong temperature or not enough water mixed with the formula. But Jackson already had one made up, shaking it in his hand as he stood by the sink.

"Little Dizzy Hungry?" Jackson said as he heard Erin still crying in Aaron's arms.

"It's at the right temperature, right? You're sure it's-." Aaron began, interrogating Jackson.

"-Aaron. Yes, it's fine." Jackson interrupted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, do you want to feed her?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shook his head. No, he had to let Jackson feed her. He'd feed her later instead.

"Sure?" Jackson said, already taking Erin from Aaron's lap and taking a seat at the kitchen table.

For a while Aaron stood in the kitchen watching Jackson like a hawk as he fed their little girl. Making sure she wasn't going to choke or if Jackson was feeding her so she wouldn't get too much air trapped. He couldn't help himself. It wasn't until Jackson looked up and caught him staring at him, did he move into the lounge to sit with Freddie.

Later that morning all four of them walked round to Chas's for lunch. Aaron pushed Erin in the pushchair while Freddie ran along a little bit ahead, Jackson keeping a watchful eye on the excited little Spiderman. Chas soon answered the door, eager to get them inside and sitting down eating their meal. She'd noticed how ill her son had started to look. She barely saw him since the birth of Erin, too busy taking care and fussing around her. She'd listened to Hazel and Jackson when they suspected that Aaron's PND had come back but in a different form and she'd instantly told them she'd have them over for Dinner to see for herself. If it was back, she going to do everything for her son to help him through it, even if it meant inviting him round for lunch to make sure he eat, talking to him about letting Jackson do more for Erin and making sure he slept if she had to sit in the room and hold his eyes closed.

"I've done us all a big roast." Chas grinned when she stepped out of the kitchen after tending to her pots and pans. "Lots to eat so I hope your all hungry!"

"Aaron should be." Jackson told her. "I know I am, I've been looking forward to this."

"Great." She grinned. "Won't be long now."

They all sat together in the living room waiting for their dinner to be cooked. Aaron sat on the arm chair, bedside Erin's buggy while she slept, peaking over at her every so often. Freddie played on the floor, running his cars all over the carpeted floor from his toy box in the corner. Neither of them noticed when Chas and Jackson stepped out of the room into the kitchen to talk.

"How is he?" Chas asked corned.

Jackson shrugged. "It's definitely back his PND. He knows it is, I talked to him the other day."

"What did he say?" Chas questioned, as she flicked the stove down a little lower and pulled a few plates to put the meal on to.

"Nothing really, you know Aaron." Jackson sighed. "He's trying, I can tell he is. But I don't think it's helping him."

"What do you mean trying?"

"He's holding back, letting me do things for her as well, but it's still got him on edge." Jackson explained, grabbing some cutlery from the draw and laying it on the table. "He still hasn't slept much in the past several days. The most he's got is a few hours here and there. He's gonna make himself ill."

"He already looks ill! Have you seen him!" Chas fumed. "We need to do something."

"That's what I was hoping you would say." Jackson admitted. "I was hoping you would say maybe we should take him to the doctors."

"But it's not depression he's got!" Chas exclaimed. What could the doctors do?

"No but it's anxiety-." Jackson began before Aaron walked into the kitchen.

"Alright love?" Chas interrupted when she spotted her son entering the kitchen. "Won't be long now, just dishing up. Jackson's helping me."

Aaron nodded his head. "Just wanted a drink."

"Water do ya?" Chas asked already grabbing a class from the cupboard.

"Yeah, thanks." Aaron answered. He didn't feel to good. His head was pounding. "Any parasetamol?"

"Why? Headache?" Chas questioned handing him the glass of tap water.

Aaron nodded his head, gratefully taking the water and taking a few large gulps.

"There's some in the cupboard in the bathroom." Chas started.

"I'll get them." Jackson said. "C'mon, leave your mum too it, it's getting a bit busy in here." Jackson added to Aaron. The kitchen was far too small for them to be all standing in there whilst she swung round with pots of boiling water and steaming trays of spitting meat.

"You sure it's just a headache?" Jackson questioned as he pulled out the box of painkillers from the bathroom cupboard. "You were up all last night. . ." And the light night before and before that . . . he added in his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Aaron assured him.

Jackson cocked an eyebrow.

"Look, I'll you if I'm feeling worse." Aaron told him.

"Dinner's ready!" Chas called from the kitchen, pleased with herself that she'd managed to cook a whole roast herself.

"Looks Yummy." Jackson commented happily when the re-entered the kitchen.

Freddie had already appeared in the kitchen before them, taking a seat right next to his Nana, leaving the other two seats in front of them to Aaron and Jackson.

"Tuck in!" Chas said, waiting for Aaron to begin eating.

After watching Aaron throughout lunch, Chas had made up her mind. Jackson was right, they needed to take him to the doctors to get help. He was on edge as he sat at the table with them. Every so often he would try to make an excuse to check on Erin and if anybody said she was okay, he would looked pained at being denied to see her. He'd look over his shoulder into the lounge were Erin was still sleeping and he barely ate any of his meal, to worried about how Erin was. He looked ill as he sat in front of her. His skin was sallow, dark circles under his eyes and he looked thinner. He wasn't sleeping, he wasn't eating properly, and he was focusing all his time on that baby girl. It wasn't healthy and if they didn't act soon, it was going to kill him.

"Aaron, you've barely touched that plate." Chas commented when Freddie excused himself from the table to continue playing with his toys in the lounge. Jackson had already vanished into the lounge to change Erin after thanking Chas for a lovely meal. "When was the last time you ate a proper meal? You're wasting away."

"Mum, don't start-."

"No, I will. You're going to kill yourself how you're carrying on." Chas exclaimed, leaning across the table slightly where she sat. "You wont be around for either of your kids then."

"Mum-." Aaron started again, he didn't need this. He felt sick and the pain his head was killing him.

"No Aaron, you're going to listen to me." Chas said. "I know I wasn't there for you much when you were a kid and you hate me for that. But that's exactly what you're going to do to those two if you carry on. The only thing that will be different will be because you've killed yourself, ran yourself into the ground and you won't ever come back!"

"I'm not gonna listen to this." Aaron said, scraping back his chair to stand up.

"You need help." Chas told him.

"No I don't. I'm fine. I'm getting better." Aaron said as he stood. "I don't need you making things. . ." He trailed off, feeling dizzy, the room swam around him making it difficult for him to work out which was up or down, left or right.

"Making things what? Aaron." Chas pushed when he didn't continue. "Making things what?"

"I don't. . . I don't need you. . ." Aaron tried to start again, blinking hoping it would make things clearer.

"What?" Chas snapped. It still hurt her when Aaron pushed away, even after all the times he did.

He felt sick. His chest felt tight and his head was reeling. Was he still standing? He couldn't work out if he was or not though the dizzy hold that had taken over him. "I don't. . ." He started again before it all got too much, he couldn't help himself. He tried to reach out for the chair he'd been sitting on to keep his balance, but he missed it by miles, crashing down onto the tiled floor.

"Aaron!" Chas cried out, jumping to her feet. Not her baby. "Aaron!. . . Jackson! Jackson! . . . Jackson get in here now!" She screamed.

"What? What is it?" Jackson called from the lounge as he laid Erin back in her buggy before seeing to what Chas wanted.

The older woman knelt down beside her son who had fallen to the floor. His eyes were shut and his breathing shallow. He'd landed on his side, his arm tucked underneath him as an effort to save his fall. She didn't know what to do.

"What the. . ." Jackson began when he stepped into the kitchen, crashing down beside Chas. "Aaron? . . Aaron!" He tried to stir the younger man. "What happened?" He asked rounding on Chas.

"I don't know. One minute he was talking to me the next . . ." Chas explained. "He just passed out!"

"Call an ambulance." Jackson ordered as he rolled on Aaron on to his back. "And make sure Freddie stays in the lounge."

Chas did as she was told, grabbing the house phone from the stand by the door on her way to lounge to keep Freddie away from seeing one of his dads passed out on the floor. He wouldn't understand and it would only scare him.

"You stupid sod." Jackson cursed under his breath at Aaron as they waited for an ambulance to arrive. He could hear Chas in the lounge talking to Freddie as she told him she had to go back into the kitchen but he had to stay in the lounge with Erin and watch her.

"They want to speak to you." Chas said, handing the phone over to Jackson before heading back into the lounge.

While Jackson talked to paramedics control over the phone, answering their questions and doing exactly what he was told, Aaron could hear everything that was going on. He was beginning to come back round. His vision was a little blurry as he opened his eyes and he was aware of the pain throbbing through his skull and hand.

"Wait, hang on a minute. I think he's coming round." Jackson said, pressing the loudspeaker button and placing the phone on the side. "Aaron?"

"I'm okay." Aaron said, pushing himself up.

"Keep him lying down." The paramedic control said over the loudspeaker.

"No Aaron, you need to stay lying down." Jackson said, trying to guide him back down as the younger man refused to listen to either him or the paramedic control. "Aaron."

"No, I'm alright." Aaron protested, shrugging Jackson off of him and stumbling to his feet.

He was either going to lie back down on his own accord or he was going to fall back down again. Either way the younger man would be back on the floor.

"Aaron." Jackson said firmly. "Lie back down, now. You're gonna make yourself worse."

"Look. I said I was fine." Aaron growled, grabbing hold of the chair as he felt another dizzy spell come over him.

"No you're not." Jackson said standing up himself as the voice on the phone told him to get Aaron lying down again.

"You haven't called paramedics have you?" Aaron questioned noticing the voice on the phone.

"Yes I have. You need to be checked over. You've made yourself ill." Jackson told him.

"You can tell them they're not needed any more then." Aaron ordered, walking off towards the lounge.

"No Aaron." Jackson started.

"I'm up, I'm standing, I'm okay." Aaron said as he whirled round causing his head to spin. "I'll sleep the rest off later."

"It's not as- Aaron you okay?" He asked suddenly, watching at the teen screwed up his face and clutched the door frame. "Aaron. . ."

Aaron tried to push Jackson away as he rushed over to him. He'd just told the older man a thousand times he was okay, he didn't need looking after or checked by a doctor. He just needed a little sleep and he'd be good. Why couldn't he leave him alone? "Just back off. . ."

"No I wont- Aaron!"

Jackson quickly reached out and caught the younger man, before he hit the floor again. His eyes had rolled back into his head and he'd fallen like a dead weight into Jackson. Carefully he lowered Aaron to the floor.

A/N – It's been such a long time since I last wrote an update for this fic. Thank you for all the great feedback I've received. I will be carrying on with the fic and many more that I seem to have abandoned at the moment, but I want to complete one at time, instead of tackling many all at once. So here's a little update to those who have waited patiently all these months. Thank you so much!


	6. Chapter 6

It was only a couple of minutes they had to wait before the paramedics were parking outside Chas's house and knocking on the front door. Chas answered the door, thanking them for acting so quick on response as she led them through to the kitchen. She had left Freddie and Erin in the lounge, the little man watching one of the DVD's he left at hers while the little girl slept in her buggy. She didn't want either of them to get worried and get scared. Inside the kitchen Jackson had managed to get Aaron lying down on the floor, still out of it as he lay on his back with his head resting on a seat cushion from one of the chairs around the table. The relief that washed over Jackson when the paramedics arrived was more than enough, hopefully they would help get Aaron better if not mentally but physically. He knew Aaron was running himself into the ground, not giving a damn about his own health as he fussed over their little girl.

"Hello, the patient is Aaron Livesy I presume?" The female paramedic said as she knelt down beside Jackson by Aaron's hip.

Jackson nodded his head. "Yes it is, I don't know what happened." He told them. "One minute he seamed fine and the next he's. . ."

"Don't worry, we'll get him fixed up and back to normal." The female Paramedic said. "My name is Livy and my partner over there is Max. Can you tell us whether you think he may of hurt himself when he fell?"

Jackson tried to think. The second time he had managed to catch him, but the first time he hadn't been around to see, he looked over towards Chas who stood in the doorway watching over to ask if she knew.

"I think he might of hurt himself the first time." Chas spoke up. "He fell on his right side, with his arm underneath him. I'm not sure- I don't know whether he done anything . . ."

"That's okay, we'll check that over and have a look, and they'll most probably check him over when we get him to the hospital again." Livy said beginning to take observations like pulse and sugar levels etc.

"Hospital? It's nothing serious is it? He's just had a funny turn, that's all." Chas tried to assure herself. She hoped to god it was nothing any more serious. Her son just needed to take more care of him self.

"We hope it's just a 'funny turn' as well. But just to be on the safe side we'll take him in get him checked over. The doctors will most probably run a few tests to double check as well." Livy said as her partner, Max remained busy taking care of Aaron, trying to wake him as he shined a light in his eye's to check responses. "Do you think you know of any reasons as to what caused Aaron to pass out twice today?" She curiously asked to help with her investigation.

"Second time, because he stood up after I told him to lie back down the stupid prat." Jackson fumed. Why couldn't the younger man ever listen to him?

Livy laughed. "What about the first time?"

Chas looked at Jackson. Hopefully when they got him to the hospital they could help them even more with Aaron, get him the real help he needed. "Well. . .we think he's suffering from post natal depression- he's had it before. But he's not eating or sleeping properly. He's really making himself ill." She told both paramedics.

"Well that might be the reason as to why this has happened." Max assured her. "Would you say he's lost any weight lately? Or anything else noticeable like that?"

Jackson nodded his head. "He's lost weight." He told them. Aaron had definitely lost weight. He used to be slim and toned, but never this slim. Aaron had always been a little more bigger built that Jackson, but now it seemed he was smaller than him lately. "I'd say a stone or more at the least."

"I think so too. I haven't seen him for a while before today. But even I could see that he was ill." Chas said agreeing with Jackson as she stared down at her son who still lay unconscious on the floor. Max and Livy were now attaching Iv lines to him. She could now see how much he had lost with all his worrying, he definitely looked smaller.

"Right well, we're now going to get him into the ambulance." Livy said, zipping up her green medic bag. "Which one of you will be coming with us in the ambulance?"

"Jackson." Chas said quickly. "I'll take care of the kids."

"You sure?" Jackson said a little torn. He didn't want Aaron to go on his own, but it he also didn't want to leave the kids again.

Chas nodded her head. "Positive. Now go with him. He's going to need you when he comes to again." She said.

Nearly an hour later and Jackson had been waiting at the hospital in a small family room for news on Aaron for at least twenty minutes already. It had taken them a few minutes to get Aaron onto the stretcher and then into the back of the ambulance and then twenty minutes to get to the hospital. As soon as they had arrived at the hospital Jackson had been ushered into the family room while the whisked Aaron away by Doctors to asses over him. The builder sat impatiently on one of the sofa's inside the room, biting the nail on his thumb anxiously as he waited for any sort of news on his partner. Another couple sat in the room with him, just anxious as he was on news of their loved one who was being looked after by doctors as well. They had kindly greeted him as he walked into the room and took a seat, but since then not another word was spoken as they all fretted over their loved ones. They all looked up in anticipation when the door to the room opened, hoping it was a nurse or doctor coming to speak to them. The builder was a little surprised to find out that it was Paddy.

"Alright? I came as soon as I heard." Paddy said as he walked into the room and sat beside Jackson. "How is he?"

"I don't know. The doctors haven't said anything yet." Jackson told him. "Maybe if I'd have acted on his PND sooner this wouldn't have happened. He's made himself ill Paddy!" Jackson fretted.

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault. It's tough on everybody. You wouldn't have known this would happen." Paddy tried to assure the younger man as he placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's typical Aaron. Never thinks of himself."

Jackson had to laugh at that, he was right.

"He'll be fine. We'll all help out. We'll all make sure he get's better, don't you worry." Paddy promised him before the door to the room opened again.

"Family of a Mr Aaron Livesy?" The doctor at the door asked as he stood in the doorway.

"Yes, that's us." Jackson said standing with Paddy.

The doctor walked over to them and stood in front of them both before he started to speak again. "Hello, I'm Doctor Marco, I've been treating Mr Livesy. He is doing good at the moment. We have him on a drip to get his nutrition levels up again and a sedative to help him sleep." The doctor told them. "We have reason to believe he's been neglecting his health."

Jackson nodded his head eagerly; Doctor Marco had hit it on the head. "For a few weeks now."

"Well from the information you gave to the paramedics and what they have told us also we have treated Mr Livesy accordingly. As I said, we have sedated to get some much needed rest, and on a nutritional drip to get his levels up and other to cure his severe dehydration." Doctor Marco said. "Now don't be alarmed, but we would like to keep him in for a few days, to get him back onto his feet again and back to top health."

"Anything to get him better." Paddy said.

"I believe you told the paramedics you think he may have PND again?" Doctor Marco asked Jackson.

"Yeah I did." Jackson said. "Can you treat it- I mean help him through it or whatever."

Doctor Marco nodded his head. "We'll try. We'll keep him in for a few days to get him back to top health physically, I'll make him an appointment as an out-patient to see another doctor a few days after his discharge who will then help him begin to get over his PND. It will be a long process."

"We know that. He's had it before." Jackson said. "Just as long as he gets through this, we don't care how long it takes."

"It's good to hear he has such a strong supportive family around him." Doctor Marco said.

"Can we see him now?" Jackson asked desperately. He needed to see his partner.

"Of course you can!" Doctor Marco said already stepping towards the door. "As I said, we gave him a sedative so he'll either be asleep or a little loopy from the effects, so just be aware."

They had already changed Aaron into the typical ugly hospital gown. The thin bed covers were pulled up right underneath his armpits, his arms laid out on top of the covers so the wires and tubes that sneaked into Aaron's inside elbow and top of hands didn't get tangled or pulled out. He looked to be asleep when they first walked in, both taking seats opposite each other on either side of the bed, trying their best not to disturb the sleeping man. Carefully, Jackson weaved his hand round the various tubes and wires to hold Aaron's hand gently and stroke his thumb over a bare piece of skin on the back of his hand as he watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful.

"Do you want me to call Chas and let her know of the new developments?" Paddy asked Jackson quietly.

Oh god, he's forgotten about her. She was taking care of the kids for them both. "Oh yes, could you? I'd completely forgotten." Jackson admitted.

"That's okay." Paddy chuckled softly, before he left the room.

Jackson didn't expect to turn back round to Aaron to find him staring at him with half lidded eyes.

"Jackson." Aaron sighed, like it took all his effort to say his name.

"Aaron." Jackson smiled carefully bringing Aaron's hand up to his face and kissing his knuckles.

"What?-. . . where. . ." Aaron tried fighting the pulls of sleep.

"You're okay. You're in hospital." Jackson assured him. "You're going to be absolutely fine, I promise. . . Although, if you ever do this to me again I'll kill you and that's a promise too. You had me worried out of my mind!"

He saw Aaron lazily smirking. "Sorry." He mumbled before he fell asleep again.

"That's okay." Jackson said more to himself than to Aaron who was now sleeping peacefully. "we're gonna get you better I promise."

Paddy returned a few minutes later, telling him that Chas said she would have Freddie and Erin stay the night at her's if he wanted them to. She didn't mind. But Jackson insisted that he would be going home that night, so they could come back home with him. There was no point staying all night at the hospital, as much as he wanted to. Aaron was only going to sleeping all night, he was out cold with the sedative they had give him, so he might as well be at home with children. They needed him just as much. He had a family to look out for as well. So after spending another hour at Aaron's beside to make sure he was going to be okay, Paddy took Jackson home after the builder kissed his partner good night and promised to be back the next day. They both had another word with doctor before they left, to go over the treatment they planned on giving Aaron within the few days he would be staying at the hospital before they left, satisfied that he was being taken care of.

He was exhausted by the time he had gotten home. All the worry for Aaron had taken it's toll on him. He had collected Freddie and Erin from Chas's, telling her a little more about what the doctor had told them before leaving to put the two bed, shortly followed by himself. He was going to have to get up early the next morning, He needed to sort out cover for himself at work, hopefully one of his friends would help him out there, and take Freddie to school before then going back to the hospital before Aaron. He didn't want the younger man to think he had abandoned him. He knew Aaron didn't like hospitals.

Unfortunately, it was pushing towards eleven by the time got to the hospital, with Freddie and Erin. He had managed to find cover for work, his friend Xander had offered to help him out when he explained to him what was going on, but when it came to dropping Freddie off at School the little boy kicked up the biggest tantrum he'd ever done. He refused to let Jackson leave him at the nursery, crying his eyes out and kicking and punching the builder as he tried to pick him up and hand him over to one of the school teachers. He had never seen the little boy kick up such a fuss. It was not like him at all, he always such a kind, cheeky, polite little boy. He had never kicked up such a fuss before. So after an hour of trying to get Freddie to stay at school, Jackson gave in too tired to right anymore, and took the little boy with him. Chas had explained to Freddie last night that his Daddy was poorly at the moment, but the doctors and nurses at hospital were getting him better. However Jackson hadn't wanted to take Freddie to see Aaron at the hospital, he didn't want the little boy to see his Daddy looking so ill. He was worried that it might scare Freddie even more seeing his dad so vulnerable.

"Here to see Aaron Livesy?" Jackson asked a woman at the nurse's station on a ward he had been directed to by receptionist downstairs when he had asked where Aaron had been transferred to over night. He juggled Erin in one arm as he held Freddie's hand in the other. He hadn't had time to ask whether Hazel or Chas or anyone else could look after them. After he had gotten into Hotton to take Freddie to school and after his tantrum he was already late for going to see Aaron.

"He's on Ward seven, just round the corner, if you follow the corridor round you should be able to see him. He's in the bed furthest from the door." The nurse kindly told him as she smiled at Freddie.

"Thank you." Jackson said before following her directions.

The young mechanic was exactly where she said he would be, staring out of the long window by his bed. They were several floors up so he could see everyone walking around on the car park, and garden area on the ground. He only realised they were there when he turned round to see who had jumped onto his bed. Before Jackson could stop their little boy, Freddie had thrown himself onto Aaron's bed and launched himself to hug him.

"Woah Freddie, careful with daddy." Jackson scorned as he sat himself down on the seat beside Aaron's bed.

"Daddy's fine." Aaron smirked returning Freddie's hug.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Sure, daddy's fine." He mumbled under his breath before turning back to Freddie again. "I mean it Freddie, be careful, don't pull on any of those wires or tubes okay? They'll hurt daddy if you do."

Freddie pulled away and began to stare at the wires and tubes that pierced through Aaron's skin on his hands and inside elbows. "What are they for? Why are they hurting daddy?" Freddie demanded looking worried.

"They're to make Daddy better." Jackson assured him.

"They don't hurt, I promise." Aaron told his son, he didn't want to worry the little boy. If he was honest they did hurt, especially when they got caught or tugged on. He learned that that morning when he accidently forgot they were attached to him and went to move one only to tug on the iv port in his elbow and swear loudly. It had hurt a lot. But he wasn't going to let on to Freddie that they did. He was his dad and dads were meant to be invincible.

"Good." Freddie said before snuggled up to Aaron's side.

"Hey, little Mister, how come you're not at school? Huh?" Aaron questioned when he realised that Freddie was meant to be at school right then.

"Do you want to tell Daddy?" Jackson said after a few seconds when Freddie didn't make to explain to Aaron why he wasn't at school.

Freddie shook his head and buried his face in Aaron's side.

Jackson sighed. "He wouldn't let me leave him. He kicked up a right fuss when I tried to get him to stay in the classroom." Jackson explained to Aaron. "Left marks to prove it as well." He laughed. He had scratches on his forearms and bruises on his shins from the kicks and tight holds that Freddie threw at him.

"I suppose we can let you have today off then." Aaron said to Freddie. "But tomorrow your back to school, okay?"

Freddie nodded his head, still snuggled into Aaron's side.

"How's Erin?" Aaron asked, looking at their baby girl sleeping in Jackson's arms.

"She's fine." Jackson told him. "But we'll all be even better when we get you home."

"I know. I'm dying to get back. I miss every second away from you all." Aaron sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. Even though he had gotten a good night's sleep the previous night and hadn't woken till an hour before Jackson turned up, he was still shattered.

"You're tired." Jackson said picking up on it.

"No, I'm fine." Aaron assured him. "Can I hold Erin please?" He asked, the anxious feeling that surrounded every thought of Erin was worse now that he was in hospital. He knew he wasn't going to be discharged until Wednesday at the soonest. Just the thought of being away from the for that amount of time made him sick. It made him feel physically sick that he wouldn't be there to watch over Erin, make sure she was safe. He was going to have to trust Jackson that he was capable of taking care of their little girl and boy on his own for a few days whilst he was recovering.

"Yeah sure." Jackson said handing their baby over to Aaron, careful not to disturb any of the iv lines.

Aaron cradled Erin to his chest, staring down at the beautiful sleeping girl. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and settled her down in his arms again wary not to wake her. He didn't realise Jackson was talking to him until the builder began to say his name over and over until he paid attention.

"Aaron . . . Aaron?" Jackson said. He knew he had lost him to Erin. But thankfully they were going to help him through his PND, the doctors had already began to make arrangements.

"What?" Aaron said, snapping his head towards the builder's direction.

"I was asking you if the Doctors have spoken to you yet. I know you were pretty out of it last night." Jackson said again.

Aaron shook his head. "No, not yet." Aaron told him. "Why?"

"I was just wondering."

A/N – Gotten round to updating this. I am so sorry for such a delay. I have tried numerous times to kick start this update but nothing I done seemed right until I sat down last night and got on with it. Hope I haven't disappointed. Thank you for such great feedback and for Lillie for giving me a helpful nudge, thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

The second night with Aaron still hospital and Jackson at home on his own with their children was harder than the builder had hoped it would be. That morning they had stayed well into the afternoon visiting Aaron who seemed to be looking a little bit better then when Jackson had seen him unconscious on his mother's kitchen floor. If one tantrum wasn't enough from Freddie that morning at his school the little boy threw another one when visiting hours where over and they had to leave. It had taken both Aaron and Jackson to try calming the boy down from his screams and crying as he latched onto the younger man. Only when Freddie accidently caught an iv line in the inside of Aaron's arm making him yell out in surprise more than pain did the little boy jump away from his daddy and stop his tantrums. Instead he began to cry because he was scared that he had hurt his dad. It had then taken Aaron another ten minutes reassuring his son that he fine and wasn't hurt. Thank god, the nurses on the ward were sympathetic about it all rather annoyed with them. All in all it had taken them longer than need be to leave after visiting times and Jackson new it was killing Aaron to not be going home with them all. The builder could see the hurt in his eyes when he took Erin from him. But it was just on more day and he would be coming home Wednesday, hopefully. Straight after the hospital though he had to pop into a local supermarket on the way home, Erin was out nappies and formula and Freddie needed a few more snacks to put in his lunch box for school that week. He'd rather do a shop without their children with him as Erin was due for a nap and Freddie was already cranky from getting himself upset twice already so he wasn't expecting either of them to be on their best behaviour. Fortunately he managed to get round the shop with the odd whine from their little boy, he was definitely Aaron's son, and Erin only began to ball her head off when the reached the tills.

He was glad when he finally got home and was able to get Freddie's dinner on the go and put Erin down for a nap. He felt a little better knowing that Chas and Paddy were visiting Aaron that evening while he couldn't, knowing he wasn't stuck in hospital on his own. However, spending a night on his own in their double bed upstairs made it even more obvious to the builder that Aaron wasn't at home with him, where he should be. The bed seemed so big and cold without him their with him to snuggled up close to or other times to kick him out of bed with all his tossing and turning and mattress hugging. He missed him.

The next morning thing when a lot more smoothly then they had done the previous day. Aaron had made a promise to Freddie that if he went to school and did as his daddy told him, then he would get better super fast and be home before he knew it, so that morning Freddie was dressed in his uniform without Jackson having to remind him and stood by the door rearing to go. Unlike the day before Jackson allowed his mother to have their baby girl all day like she usually did on Tuesdays, Wednesday's and Fridays. He would be able to see Aaron and talk to him and the doctors without Erin in his arms or Freddie throwing a tantrum, as much as he loved them both. It would just be him and Aaron. Bearing in mind he was going in to Hotton that morning to see Aaron again, he offered to take James to school as well, seeing as Paddy and Rhona seemed to be tied up with the lambing that seemed to make their lives just as hectic as Aaron being in hospital was making Jackson's. He waited for Hazel to come over to Smithy cottage and collect Erin before he set off taking the boys to school, dropping them off well in time for the school bell.

Jackson hadn't had a chance to speak to either Chas or Paddy to ask how last night went when they visited Aaron. There had been no time for him to call Chas up and have a quick chat to her that morning and as for catching Paddy there was no chance. The vet had disappeared up to a farm near robblesfield before anyone had woken up. So he just had to hope that everything went fine. He knew that Aaron had been putting on a brave front in front of their children the other morning; he didn't want to scare them. He just hoped that the young mechanic was getting better.

"Jackson?" A nurse called out to him, when he stepped onto the ward, unsure if he was the right person.

"Yes?" The builder answered stopping in his tracks. He had been about to walk straight past her and find Aaron.

"Just a little heads up about Mr Livesy." The nurse warned him. "He wasn't sleeping very well last night at all, so we gave him another sedative to help him sleep. So he may still be asleep or a little groggy."

"Ok thank you." Jackson sighed. It was for the best. Aaron needed to rest, without rest he was running himself into the ground.

"I see your still on the iv drips then." Jackson said under his breath as he took a seat beside a sleeping Aaron in bed. He wasn't expecting the younger man to wake up any time soon and he wasn't going to wake him either. He was quite happy sitting by his bed, watching him rest peacefully.

A few minutes after sitting beside Aaron as he slept Jackson thought he would go look for the nurse who had spoken to him when he arrived and ask if she could tell him exactly how Aaron was getting on. Apart from when he had first been admitted, they hadn't been updated on his state and how they were treating him at all. So he went in search of the nurse, hoping she could help him.

"Excuse me please?" Jackson asked the nurse as she sat the nurse's station typing.

"How can I help you?" The nurse smiled, stopping what she was doing.

"I was hoping you could fill me in on how Aaron was getting on." Jackson told her.

"Of course, let me just find his notes." The nurse said. "Are you a relation of Mr livesy?"

"I'm his partner." He answered. "I don't know whether you were on shift yesterday morning, but I was the one with the screaming kid." He laughed.

The nurse laughed. "You must be so proud. Both of your children are lovely." She said as she searched for his notes.

"Thank you." Jackson said, beginning to strum a beat with his fingers on the top of the counter.

"Ah! He we are." The nurse said finally coming across what she was looking for. "Right okay, I take it you were told when he was first admitted that he was dehydrated, exhausted and his nutrition level's were very low?"

Jackson nodded.

"Well, we're still trying to get his hydration levels up and he should be coming off the drips we have him on this afternoon." The nurse said. "We also have him on a high energy diet to help him with malnutrition as well."

"Thank you." Jackson said. "Is he still on course for being discharged tomorrow."

"If the doctor is happy with his progress then yes." Then nurse said.

"Okay, thank you. . . You said earlier about him not sleeping well . . ." Jackson said.

"It's nothing to worry about. Sometimes not everyone settles well in hospital, and Aaron seemed to be one of those people." The nurse assured him. "We just gave him a little sedative to help him sleep. He needs all the rest he can get at the moment."

Little did the nurse know that it was most probably not because he couldn't settle because he was in hospital but because he was full of worry and nerves over Erin. "Okay thank you so much." Jackson said to her. "I'll go see if he's waking up now. Thanks again."

"Your welcome."

When Jackson got back to Aaron, the younger mechanic was beginning to wake up. He shifted in the small hospital bed, raising a clenched fist to rub at the tiredness in his eyes before blinking them open and turning to stare at Jackson for a while.

"Morning." Jackson smiled.

"Morning." Aaron mumbled. He was never fantastic in the mornings.

"How're you feeling?" Jackson asked.

"Tired."

Jackson laughed. "Aren't we all? Your son has worn me out."

"MY son?" Aaron laughed. "Why is he only mine when he miss behaves?"

"Because he's the spitting image of you when he does." Jackson teased. "I just hope he's more like me when he gets to his teens. I can't cope with another grunting and moody teenager with under lying violent tendencies."

"Hey!" Aaron exclaimed.

"You know it's true babe." Jackson smirked standing up, placing his hands on either side of Aaron's hips as he leaned over to kiss the young mechanic. "I've been wanting to do that for ages."

"What was stopping you?" Aaron teased.

Jackson laughed as he sat back down again.

"So where's Erin?" Aaron asked.

"With my mum." Jackson told him. "Thought it could just be me and you today, Freddie went off to school okay."

"You gave her everything she would need right? Nappies, formula, her favourite toy, enough change of clothes-." Aaron began.

"She's fine Aaron. She's with my mum. She raised me. She helped us raise Freddie when he was baby so I'm sure she's got Erin covered." Jackson tried to assure Aaron.

"But even still, it's been years since Freddie was a baby and even longer since you were one-." Aaron started again.

"Shh." Jackson said. "She's fine. I promise. No harm shall come to her."

"Sure?" Aaron questioned, still obviously in a panic about it all.

"Promise."

"When can I see her next, Freddie as well?" Aaron asked.

"Well, you're being discharged tomorrow." Jackson said hopefully. "So then."

"Why not today?"

"Because Freddie's at school and Erin's with her nan. I thought you'd want to spend some time together, just us." Jackson sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Aaron mumbled. "My head's all over the place at the moment."

It didn't take Jackson long to draw the curtains closed around Aaron's bed, shutting them out from the rest of the ward and climbing onto the bed next to him. Without a little bit of wiggling and shifting around, they managed to fit both of them in the bed. Jackson rested a hand round the back of his head, as he lay tilted to the side, Aaron's head resting on his chest with an arm wrapped protectively round the young mechanic's slim waist. They stayed like that for a long while, shifting positions occasionally when one of them got a dead arm or numb side. The talked for a while, light conversation about what was happening with Rhona and Paddy at the moment with their work, football news, how Jackson was getting on with the build of their new home, anything but the obvious PND that Aaron was suffering from yet again. They were going to deal with that when Aaron got better physically.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Jackson said as he hugged Aaron closer to him, still wrapped up together on the hospital bed. Chas had brought Aaron his own clothes with her the night before for him to change into. They both knew how much Aaron hated the flimsy hospital gowns.

"Do you have to go?" Aaron groaned, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth of Jackson's body pressed up against his.

"I wish I didn't but I do." Jackson said sadly. "Have to pick Freddie and James up from school and get them ready for football. They start that this week."

"Few more minutes?" Aaron begged.

"I can't I'm sorry. I'm already pushing it." Jackson sighed, pressing a kiss to Aaron's lips. "Your mum will be up this evening I expect." Jackson promised him.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Fantastic."

"Knew you would be happy." Jackson laughed as he climbed off of the bed, careful not to catch an iv line like Freddie had done.

"She wouldn't stop going on last night." Aaron complained as he too began to get out of bed.

"She would do, no matter how old you are she won't stop caring about you." Jackson said as he watched what the young mechanic was doing. "What are you doing?"

"Getting out of bed?"

"But why?" Jackson questioned.

"Because I'm sick of just sitting down all day, I'm going to walk you out." Aaron told him.

"That's extremely polite of you but shouldn't you remain in bed for your own good?"

Aaron glared at him when he grabbed hold of his the tall metal pole on wheels that had his iv bags attached to. "You're starting to sound like her now." Aaron complained.

Jackson pulled a hurt face. "I only care. But fine, so be it! Lead the way."

He waited as Aaron quickly put on pair of slip on black canvas shoes that Chas had brought especially for his stay in hospital. She had told him they would be practical as she knew he wouldn't be seen dead in a pair of slippers. He was surprised to see that even in the short amount of time he had been in hospital they had managed to get his weight up a little bit. His clothes didn't hang off of him so much anymore, although his sleeves still remained pulled down over his hands, despite having iv lines running up them which could be pulled or caught when he insisted on tugging his sleeves down hands and scrunching them in his fists.

"Hey, I'll do that." Jackson said when Aaron went to pull the curtains round his bed open. He didn't care that Aaron didn't seem to mind the risk of pulling an iv or even a iv port out of his arm or hand but he did, he couldn't stand how squeamish he was.

He walked beside Aaron as he walked him down through the ward and towards the doors to the corridors leading to the rest of the hospital. The young mechanic pulled the metal poll on wheels carrying his drip beside him. When they reached the door leading out of the doors, Jackson stopped expecting Aaron to as well, so he could kiss him goodbye. But instead of them both stopping, Aaron walked straight out of the doors.

"Hey, Aaron! Where do you think your going?" Jackson called after the young mechanic as he pushed through the doors after him.

"Duh, walking you out." Aaron answered back.

"You've got to stay on the ward." Jackson told him, grabbing the younger man's upper arm to stop him in his tracks.

"No I don't have to." Aaron told him. "I need to stretch my legs."

"I think the nurses in there will have something different to say about that." Jackson warned him.

Aaron shrugged his shoulders. "And? I'll only be gone for a few minutes. They won't notice."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Fine, get into trouble. See if I care." He said as they began to walk.

". . . Okay, this is as far as I'm allowing you to." Jackson told Aaron, firmly as they stopped near the west block doors out onto the car park.

"Spoil sport." Aaron huffed.

"You love me really." Jackson said taking one of Aaron's hands and pulling him closer. He wrapped his hands round the younger mans waist, linking his hands where they rested against Aaron's back, as he looked into his eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep, you will." Aaron nodded.

"Good." Jackson said leaning in and kissing Aaron, only pulling away when they heard somebody clear their throat when they walked past. They both burst out laughing. "Promise me to do as your told and go straight back onto your ward when I leave you? No wondering around."

Aaron nodded his head as he smirked.

"Good boy." Jackson teased. "See you tomorrow then." He said pressing one last kiss to his partners lips and walking away.

A/N – Thank you so much for the great feedback!


	8. Chapter 8

The builder managed to pick both the boys up on time from school and get them back home to change from their school uniform and into their new football kits. He made them stand outside smithy Cottage at the front, posing together, so he could take a picture of them before they went to football training for the first time. When they reached the sports centre in Hooton, Jackson took another few pictures of them. He knew Aaron would be upset that he had missed out on taking his son to football for the first time. He would show the young mechanic the pictures when he came home tomorrow.

"Have a good time you two." Jackson told Freddie and James before they sprinted off to join their other friends they knew from school on the astro turf pitch.

"Bye dad!" Freddie called back.

"Bye Jackson!" James copied.

He stood at the side just to see how they both got on to begin with before he left them to come back and pick them up when they were done with training. He was interested to see how they would pick it all up. He'd often seen them kicking a ball about in the back garden and had caught them practising keppy-upies inside the house when they weren't mean to. A mother of one of Freddie's friends at school had recommended him Hotton Youth Football training club, telling him it was the best one around for a child who loved football. He had thought about sending Freddie to one in Robblesfield seeing as it was closer, but the friend's mother sung such high praises of the one in Hotton he couldn't turn it away. She had even managed to get them two opening places in the club as places were so hard to come by. He was too busy watching Freddie warm up, to notice somebody walk up behind him and stand next to him.

"New here?" The person asked making Jackson jump and turn to face him.

The man standing beside him was dressed in a dark sports kit, a training whistle, badge and keys hung round his neck on a red cord and he looked to be in his mi twenties.

"Is it that obvious?" Jackson laughed. He knew Freddie enjoyed football, had done since he was three when Aaron would take him down to the cricket pavilion and kick a ball around with him. He knew most parents shoved their kids into football youth teams as soon as their child showed the slightest liking to kicking a ball, but Jackson and Aaron hadn't wanted to be a pushy parent. However a few weeks ago Freddie had asked him if he could join a Football club with James.

The other man laughed. "Don't worry, it's just me who can tell." He said. "I'm Mason, b y the way, I coach the teams here."

"Hi Mason, I'm Jackson." The builder responded shaking the Coaches hand.

"Both yours?" Mason asked nodding towards James and Freddie as they leaned on each other to keep their balance with one of the stetches.

Jackson shook his head. "Just the one boy. Freddie, the blonde one."

"Ah, I can see it now." Mason said smiling.

Jackson couldn't. He had always thought Freddie looked a lot like Aaron, the poor kid.

"Anyway, I should be getting over there and get coaching." Mason said. "It was nice meeting you Jameson." He smiled before he walked away.

"It's Jackson." The builder found himself correcting him.

"Sorry! See you next time Jackson." Mason laughed, turning back round to flash Jackson a cheeky smile before he jogged the rest of the way over to the kids.

Jackson shook his head. Did Mason just try hitting on him? Freddie's football coach?

When the builder got back to his car he found a missed call on his phone from the hospital. He had accidently left it in the car in the excitement to get the boys to football training. He picked it up from the dashboard and immediately called the hospital back. A little worried as to why the hospital were calling him.

"Hello is this Mr Walsh?" The hospital receptionist said on the other line.

"Yes, it is." Jackson answered her. "Is there a reason why you called me? Is Aaron okay?"

"Could you just hold one moment." The receptionist asked putting him on hold before he got a chance to answer.

The builder swore when he heard the steady beep of the hold tone on the phone.

"Hello? Mr Walsh?" Another voice on the line said, cutting the beep off.

"Yes, that's me." Jackson said, growing even more concerned.

"I'm Doctor Marco, I remember we met a few days concerning Aaron's treatment." The voice said down the phone.

"Yes, that's correct. I hate to sound rude, but could we just cut to the chase." Jackson told him abruptly. "I need to know why you called me? Is Aaron okay?"

"As far as we are aware Mr Livesy is okay." Doctor Marco said.

"As far as you're aware? What do you mean?" Jackson questioned.

"We've been trying to get hold of a family member of Mr Livesy all afternoon." Doctor Marco said. "It seems he's not returned to the ward."

No, he hadn't. He had told him to go straight back to the ward.

". . . We found his IV lines and drip, on the other side of the hospital." The doctor continued.

"So what are you saying? You've lost my partner?" Jackson demanded. He couldn't believe it.

"We have security on search throughout the hospital looking for Mr Livesy. However I called to just ask if you find him at home, which isn't uncommon when patients disappear, to bring him back to the hospital." Doctor Marco asked.

"That's if he's still alive when I'm through with him." Jackson fumed. "Thank you for letting me know. I'll make sure he gets back to you."

"Thank you. Have a nice evening Mr Walsh." Doctor Marco said before ending the call.

He couldn't believe the stupidity behind Aaron's actions. He was being released form hospital tomorrow! One more night in hospital and he would be at home with his family. But no, he had to go on walk about didn't, making everyone worried sick about where he was or what he was doing. Couldn't he just concentrate on getting better so he could be back home with his children?

Jackson scrolled through his contacts and pressed call on Paddy's name. He knew it was only Rhona on call tonight and Paddy had a game's night planned with Marlon but he needed his help. He placed the call on hands free and started up his car, already pulling out of the car park and cruising down the road when the older vet answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi Paddy, it's Jackson. I know you have plans for tonight, but could you do me a huge favour please?" Jackson asked as he turned left.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I'm a little tied up at the moment, so could you pick the boys up from football practise in hour please?"

"Of course I can. What's the matter though? You seem a bit annoyed." Paddy questioned, picking up on Jackson's tone.

"Nothing, I'll explain to you later." Jackson said.

"Alright then, I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Twenty minutes later, Jackson was back at home, parking his car outside Smithy Cottage. All the lights were out which he half expected. Paddy was at Marlon's and Rhona was most probably out on a call out. What he didn't expect was to see the front door open, waiting for just any old body to walk in. It didn't put him off from walking inside though. He knew it wasn't a break in, despite the busted lock. It was Aaron. He just knew it was him. He made his way inside and carefully walked up the stairs, just knowing that Aaron wasn't downstairs so he needn't bother to check.

He pushed their bedroom door open in the darkness. The young mechanic hadn't bothered to switch a light, so neither did Jackson as he stepped into the room. The room was a mess. He stepped over a shattered picture of him and Aaron taken a few years ago when Freddie was just a baby. Fortunately he had left his shoes on. He stepped over more broken items, more picture frames, a mirror, a glass bottle of Jackson's aftershave, dvd cases and much more. Aaron was sitting on the edge of their bed, still, staring straight a head as tears streamed down his face.

"Aaron." Jackson said, not wanting to make the younger man jump at his presence. He carefully sat down beside him on the end of their bed.

"Jackson?" Aaron whispered, turning to him with huge eyes.

The builder placed an arm round the mechanics waist. He was still dressed in a black t-shirt and black sweatpants from this morning, the black canvas shoes still on his feet as well. He was cold to the touch. He'd most probably gotten a bus back home, walking through the streets of Hotton without a Jacket on in the typical British weather.

"What are you doing back here?" Jackson questioned. "You're meant to be in hospital. I told you to go back."

Aaron shook his head. "Where's Erin? I can't find her!"

"She's safe. She's at her Nan's." Jackson told him.

". . . Oh yeah, I remember you tell me." Aaron said rubbing his temple.

"Good. Don't worry, I won't let no harm come to her." Jackson promised him.

"I know, I know." Aaron quickly said, wiping at the tears falling from his eyes.

Jackson pulled his sleeve of his shirt over his hand and wiped away Aaron's tears. "Its okay, you know that right?" Jackson said.

Aaron nodded. "I know. . .It's just- . . . It's just I can't help but get scared and I don't know why." Aaron cried. "I just get this- this over whelming feeling of nerves and I don't know what to do with them."

"That's fine. I can make it go away." Jackson promised. "You've just got to let me help you."

"I know." Aaron said again before pulling himself together. "God, look at the state of me." He exclaimed, swiping angrily at the tears that still fell. "Look at the state of all that." He said pointing to the mess on the floor where things had been thrown. "I couldn't find my phone, I needed to call you. I swore I left it in here somewhere."

"I can clear it up." Jackson told him. "But first we need to get you back to the hospital."

Aaron shook his head. "No. I don't need to go back. I feel fine."

"Tough, you're going back." Jackson told him. "You've already not done as I told you once today."

"But I'm fine, look!" Aaron said gesturing to himself.

"No you're not. You're ill Aaron." Jackson said. "The sooner we get you back, the sooner you can come back home to our kids. To Freddie and Erin."

"B-."

"- Don't start Aaron. Just think of Freddie and Erin for once!" Jackson snapped. Where had that come from?

Aaron just stared back at him. Speechless. He thought he had been putting them first, getting home so he could take care of them, be there for them.

"Just get in the car Aaron." Jackson said quietly.

He didn't need to be told twice. The young mechanic turned and went downstairs, leaving Jackson to look over the mess he had made. By the time the builder had gotten downstairs and managed to close the front door behind him, Aaron was already seated in the car. Jackson climbed in the driver's seat, switching the engine on and turning round in his seat to reverse out of the drive. He noticed the blood drying on the inside of Aaron's arm and back of his hand from where he had pulled the iv ports out without a care. He didn't bat an eyelid, didn't say a word, just carried on driving.

When they arrived at the hospital, Jackson took Aaron back to the ward, apologising to the nursing staff and doctors for Aaron's absence. He waited in the family room, while they got Aaron back to his bed and hooked up to just one IV line this time. Despite his out burst earlier on he wasn't going to just leave the younger man just like that. He obviously was dying to get back home and in his own little way thought he was doing best by going home that evening. Jackson was flicking through a magazine when a nurse popped her head round and told him he could see Aaron.

"Sorry." Aaron said as soon as Jackson walked through the curtains drawn round the younger man's bed.

"I know you are." Jackson said. "I'm sorry to."

Aaron shook his head. "No don't be. You were right. I always seem to mess things up when things are going so good."

"Aaron don't-." Jackson tried, sitting down on the chair beside his bed.

"No. I've- We've got it good. Two kids, a boy and girl, two good jobs, each other! A new house being built!" Aaron carried on. "And what do I have to go and do, turn into a complete loony!"

"You're not a loony Aaron." Jackson argued, taking hold of his hand.

"Yes I am." Aaron laughed. "As much as I love Dizzy now, I didn't want her at the start. How bad is that? I knew I was going to get PND again. So I didn't want our little girl. I was wishing we were never gonna have her."

"Aaron. . ." Jackson sighed he didn't want Aaron doing this to himself.

"No. I wouldn't change her for the world now. I love her, too much and I think that's why I'm like this." Aaron said. "I'm trying to make up for those horrible disgusting thoughts I had."

"Aaron, it's not your fault that you were scared to begin with. It's a big thing that you went through both times, so it isn't any wonder it's had such a mental impact on you." Jackson said. "And I'm sorry for losing it with you. I just let it all get to me and I shouldn't have. It's not your fault, you didn't wish this upon yourself."

"You guys don't deserve it though." Aaron mumbled. "You all deserve so much better!"

"And so do you Livesy!" Jackson told him firmly before capturing his lips against his. "Don't argue."

A/N – Thank you for such great feedback!


	9. Chapter 9

Tuesday night, Jackson stayed a while at the hospital with Aaron. He called ahead and asked Paddy another favour, to pick Erin up from Hazel's and take care of her while he stayed a few hours with the younger man before he came home again. He didn't want to leave Aaron on his own that night, despite needing to be at home for their children. He knew the two were in good hands with Paddy, he was always fantastic with them. Hopefully if everything went to plan, they would be back to normal very soon. When he was happy that Freddie and Erin were being taken care of Jackson had settled on the hospital bad with Aaron again, munching on chocolate and sweets that Chas had also brought the young mechanic the day before. He had hoped that lying with Aaron, sharing food and chatting idly would help calm the mechanic. He had even shared the pictures of the boys he had taken earlier that evening, with Aaron. He didn't want him to miss out on their son's first football practise.

The next morning Jackson focused on making sure everything ran smoothly without any hiccups. Hazel's arrived at Smithy Cottage at eight to pick Erin up, Freddie went to school with Rhona and James and Paddy had moved all his morning appointments to the next day. The vet had wanted to go with Jackson when he picked Aaron up, after hearing what the young mechanic had pulled last night. Jackson had filled him in when the kids where in bed, whilst he cleared the mess up in their bed room. Paddy had shared his concerns that maybe Aaron wasn't coping as well as he had before when he had PND. The sooner they got him home, the sooner they could help him through it all.

By lunch time, Aaron was home. Chas had also tagged along when they all picked the younger man up. Chas had helped her son collect all his belongings together while Jackson and Paddy spoke to the doctor before he was discharged. Aaron's head was still all over the place. Doctor Marco explained to Jackson the medication he had prescribed for the young mechanic for a few weeks to help him. He was given medication for his anxiety and Sleeping pills for as when he needed them. He explained to Jackson that Aaron wouldn't be on them long at all. Just while he got back to his old self again and got help for his PND. They didn't want him to run himself into the ground again and make himself sick. So they were just temporary, which everyone was glad to hear about. None of them wanted the younger man on medication for a long period of time.

As soon as the young mechanic had gotten home, he went straight upstairs for a shower. Jackson made himself busy in the kitchen fixing everyone something to eat, whilst Paddy and Chas had coffee in the lounge most probably talking about their son. He didn't want to be Aaron to seem claustrophobic by them all hovering round him, worrying of him.

"Alright?" Jackson asked chopping some lettuce up when Aaron walked into the kitchen, lazily rubbing a towel over his wet hair.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah fine." He answered. "What's for dinner?"

"Well I thought I'd fix you something that will hopefully make up for that hospital muck you've had to eat for the past few days." Jackson told him, now putting the sandwiches together.

"Salad?" Aaron grimaced, eyeing up what Jackson was making.

Jackson laughed. "No this is for your mum, Paddy and me. I've made you cheese and pickle sandwiches."

"Good." Aaron said. He was starving. He dropped the towel on the back of a chair round the kitchen table and walked round to Jackson. "Missed you last night." Aaron whispered as he snaked his arm's round Jackson's waist from behind.

"Missed you too." Jackson said before he turned his head to place a kiss on Aaron's cheek. "You'll have to put me down for now though, lunch is ready."

"What if I don't want to." Aaron asked. His medication was well and truly working, Aaron before had shown no interest towards Jackson at all since the birth of Erin.

"Tough." Jackson chuckled, unable to keep a grin from breaking across his face as he picked up two plates with sandwiches on. "Now get the others and bring them through." He ordered Aaron with a wink before disappearing into the lounge.

Later on Aaron insisted on picking Freddie up from school, telling Jackson it was time that he had rest and let him run about for a change. He had felt bad just sitting in hospital while Jackson ran himself rugged. It wasn't fair on him. So he told the builder to stay at home while he went to pick up their son from school. He parked their car a short distance away from the school and walked up to the gates where he knew Freddie would come running out of as soon as the teachers allowed him to. He leant against a streetlamp, legs crossed at the ankles and arm's cross as he waited.

"Daddy!" Freddie yelled out, as soon as he spotted who was picking him up from school. His face lit up with a huge grin as he rocketed himself towards the young mechanic.

"Alright kid." Aaron said, bending down to pick up their six year old and swing him up into the air.

"Are you home for good now?" Freddie asked as Aaron carried him back to the car. The little boy remained balanced on Aaron's hip as he walked to their car, toy story back pack still on his back as he chatted away.

Aaron nodded. "Back home for good."

"Better be." Freddie warned him, fixing him with a look he had seen many times before on Jackson's face. It was quite scary how their son already had all their looks down to a 't'.

The young mechanic laughed. "Promise." He said putting Freddie down on his feet as he unlocked the car.

"Good because ever since we got Dizzy, I've barely seen you." Freddie continued as he climbed into the car.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. It's just I haven't been feeling too good lately but don't worry I'm feeling loads better now. I promise you're going to see me around more often." Aaron explained to his son as he strapped him in his seat. He leant down and pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead before nuzzling his face into the side of his neck and blowing a big raspberry making him giggle violently.

That evening, everything seemed to be okay. Aaron spent the rest of the afternoon, playing on the Xbox with Freddie after collecting him from school before dinner. They all sat together in the kitchen eating the food that Rhona had prepared them all. Chas had gone home after Aaron had left to collect Freddie and Hazel had brought Erin back over at five. Jackson was happy to see that their little family was back together again. Despite being on the medication from the doctors, the builder noticed how anxious Aaron still was over Erin. He watched as the young mechanic prepared a bottle for her, making sure everything was exact, taking his time not to make any errors and double checking himself that he was doing it right. He had made hundreds of bottles before for Freddie when he was little, so he didn't know why the younger man thought he didn't know how to make one like second nature. However he was thankful when Aaron only made one bottle, instead of putting together half a dozen and sticking to the seventh. He would never forget the time he walked into the kitchen to find it a mess with bottles, water and formula everywhere.

They all decided on an early night. Jackson was back to work the next day. He'd booked in a few odd jobs here in there, whilst he put together the plans for their house and such like. The bathed both of the kids. Aaron got Freddie in the bath first, going into his room to read him a story afterwards, while Jackson bathed Erin. The little boy had gotten Aaron to read him three whole books and halfway through the fourth before he finally fell to sleep. By the time Aaron got to bed himself, Jackson had already put Erin down in her cot and was tucked up underneath the covers of their bed.

"Do you need to take a sleeping pill before you get into bed tonight?" Jackson asked. As much as he hated the thought of Aaron on that sort of medication he didn't want Aaron to be up all night and worn out the next day.

Aaron shrugged. "Don't think so." He said as he ditched his clothes and climbed into bed. "I think I'll have a go without one then if I'm not asleep in an hour or more, I'll take one."

"Okay, then." Jackson said, wiggling over to Aaron's side of the bed and pulling the younger man closer to him. "Think I could help you out there."

"Oh, is that so?" Aaron smirked, knowing exactly what Jackson had in mind to help him get to sleep.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it." The builder whispered before trailing kisses from the base of Aaron's neck down his back, stopping at his waist to pull the young mechanic on to his back so he could pull himself on top to straddle the younger man.

"You do realise our baby girl is asleep in the same room." Aaron said, a little put off when he caught a glimpse of the cot in the corner of his eye as Jackson sucked on a spot at his collarbone.

"She's sound asleep. Beside's we'll be extra quiet." Jackson told him. "Don't forget how thin these walls are. Paddy and Rhona won't want to be woken up either."

A/N – this is so short. But hey-ho! Hope your enjoying it so far. Thanks for such great feedback!


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days since Aaron's return home from hospital, seemed to pass by peacefully. Aaron insisted on taking Freddie's school runs. He felt so bad for not being around for him, letting his illness get to him. Freddie didn't argue he was overjoyed each time he saw Aaron standing by the school gates waiting to pick him up. Jackson remained home the rest of the week, wanting to be with Aaron and be there for him. However when Monday came around the builder felt as though he could go back to work. He knew Aaron was still trying to come to terms with having PND again, but in a different form than to before. The builder knew from past experiences it would be a long road before Aaron would feel better again, but he knew that he could leave the younger man whilst he went back to work. He was only a phone call away. They had both agreed that Aaron wouldn't return to work until after his hospital referral appointment later on that week, despite knowing that Aaron wouldn't quite know what to do with himself as Jackson made sure Aaron also knew that Erin would still be going to their mother's during the week like usual. Through all the ups and downs, they wanted to keep the children's routine one permanent structure in their day to day lives.

Tuesday lunchtime Jackson was back home, at Smithy cottage, after getting back from a job in Robblesfield. Aaron had been pleased to find out that the builder would be back that afternoon to keep him company. He had spent the majority of his days wondering round the empty house, going stir crazy as he tried to keep himself occupied. He'd found himself taking a sleeping pill mid morning, so he could crash out and sleep to prevent himself from worrying over Erin and going over to one of their mother's picking her up.

"You've made a complete mess in here." Aaron groaned as he walked into the lounge to find Jackson had spread all his plans and work papers all over the living room floor. He'd pushed the coffee table up against the fireplace to make more room for himself and his work. He was going over the plan's he had put together for their new house. They had managed to find a piece of land to build on, just needed the design. The builder had come up with many different designs and ideas, sketched out in detail and rough ideas. But none of them seemed to work for him. He wanted it just right. Building their house, seemed to be that start of something new for them, they hadn't had it easy and he hoped that moving into their own personal built home would change that.

"So, I'll clear it up." Jackson mumbled round the pen between his front teeth.

"I don't care if you'll clear it up. I tided up in here!" Aaron told him annoyed. It's all he ever found himself doing recently tidying, making sure everything was in it's exact place. Rhona and Paddy had never seen the place looking so perfect. If he wasn't sleeping he was worrying over how tidy and clean the house was to move his attention away from the obvious.

"Chill out." Jackson laughed, removing the pen from his mouth and jotting down a few sums as he sat cross legged in front of his paperwork.

"You're unbelievable." Aaron muttered under his breath as he turned out of the lounge and went back through to the kitchen. He began to make a cup of tea for them. He hadn't noticed it himself and neither anybody else just yet but everything he did had to be so particular.

He took the cups off the shelf in the cupboard above the kettle, placing them down in the centre of the glass board on the kitchen counter, both handles facing directly to the left. He then picked the kettle up, dropped it back down on its stand again and picked it up with a better grip before filling it to the two cup mark with cold water. Aaron placed it back on its stand a flicked the switch on. As the water boiled he went into the fridge beside him picked up the milk and filled the cups exactly with a 1cm of milk each, filling the cup up on his left with tiny little drops several times before he was happy that it was the same level as the one the right. It took three goes of opening and shutting the fridge before he finally placed the milk back and carried on with making his tea. He hadn't even noticed he seemed to be doing these things. By the time he had levelled two teaspoons of sugar out for the right mug and four for the left the kettle was boiled and waiting to be poured.

"Here." Aaron said placing Jackson's cup of tea on a coaster by his side on the coffee table.

"Thanks." Jackson said, picking it straight up, blowing a few times on the top and taking a quick small sip. "I needed that."

"Yeah." Aaron said taking a sip of his own, placing it down, picking it up to take another couple of sips and placing it back down on the coffee table beside Jacksons.

"So I'm nearly done with the plans I think." Jackson told him as he ruffled a few sheets around.

"Oh yeah, how soon till you can get started." Aaron asked. He was dying to have their own space again. As much as he considered Smithy Cottage home, it was too small for all seven of them. It was fine when it was just him and Paddy rattling around several years ago.

"Just got too finish off one or two things off on the plans, then we can get started." Jackson said. "I take it you still like that land we found a few months back."

"Land is land." Aaron shrugged. He didn't care where Jackson built their house, as long as it was safe and close to Emmerdale.

"Right then, I've still got that money saved up from a few odd jobs here and there, plus the insurance money from the fire still put away. Should be enough to get started next month if were determined enough." Jackson told him, grabbing a few sheets of paper, hoping to his feet and plonking himself down beside Aaron on the sofa under the window. "These are the plans."

"Just looks like a load of lines to me." Aaron said unhelpfully as the builder spread the plans out on their laps.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Well they would to you. Look closely and I'll explain it all to you." He said before pointing to what looked like a box to Aaron. "This is the entrance hall, thought it would be better than walking straight into the lounge or kitchen."

"Good idea." Aaron said waiting for Jackson to continue.

"Obviously in the entrance hall, they'll be the stairs to upstairs. That there is the lounge." He said pointing to a another box, with complicated lettering and symbols surrounding it to the right of the entrance hall, before pointing to another box above that. "Then beside that is the downstairs bathroom. Straight ahead from the entrance hall is the kitchen. . ."

"How can we afford all this?" Aaron asked out of the blue as Jackson explained the rest of the house to him, including the ideas of brick work and roofing. "I mean we're not exactly rolling in it."

Jackson laughed. "That's were you're wrong . . . sort of." He said. "We have the insurance money from the fire, like I said, the money from all the odd jobs I do put away, plus we've been living here since the fire. We've saved a lot by just paying rent to Paddy and Rhona."

Aaron scratched the back of his neck. Maths had never been his strong point. But all the ideas Jackson had seemed expensive.

"So don't worry. I'm not going to get half way through this build and run out of money. It's all sorted." Jackson assured him, placing a kiss on the side of his head.

"Better not. I don't want our kids to live in a house without a roof and half of the rooms missing an outside wall." Aaron joked as he finished off his cup of tea and placing it back down on the coaster.

"Don't worry Mr Livesy, I'll make sure it's fit for a prince and a princess." Jackson said also finishing off his tea. "Give me a few more hours and hopefully the plans will be finished. Then in the next month or so I'll make sure not to book any major jobs, get in contact with that estate agent to buy that piece of land and get building permission, hire a few mates to help out and sort out the building supplies and we should be away."

"Not much then." Aaron smirked.

"Nope, not at all." Jackson laughed.

"If you need any help when I'm not at work, I can help with build if you want." Aaron offered. He wanted to put some of his work into it all. All he had done so far was agree on a few things with the builder and that was it. He didn't want to leave it all to Jackson to do, but he knew what he was doing. He had done it many times before.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "I can't quite picture you on a building site, too much hard work for you." He said, eyeing the mechanic up and down. "You're more suited to be stuck under a car fiddling with car parts."

"Hey!" Aaron exclaimed hitting Jackson playfully. "Fixing cars is just as much hard work as logging a few bricks around and drinking tea."

"Oh is that what you think I do!" Jackson protested before he pushed the younger man backwards and launched himself on top of him, pinning him to the cushion seats. "Huh? Mr Livesy!"

"Ah, no!-. . .Yeah I do Jackson." Aaron panted under the weight of Jackson.

"We'll have to see about that won't we?" Jackson suggested not making any move to unpin Aaron from beneath him.

"Let me help you on the build and I'll prove to you I can and already do more work than you!" Aaron told him.

"I don't know. . ."

"Jackson!"

"Still not sure." Jackson said easing his weight off of Aaron just a little.

"Jackson!"

"Fine!"

"You're on." Aaron said his laughter vibrating through Jackson. ". . . ah- Jacks'n. You're killing me, mate."

"Aww poor little Livesy." Jackson said pulling a sad face as he placed all his weight on his arms either side Aaron's head. He then began to trail kisses down the side of the younger man's jaw and all the way down to his throat before stopping and pulling back.

"No fair." Aaron whined.

"So fair." Jackson smirked, placing a knee between Aaron's legs and slipping a hand up Aaron's t-shirt.

"I've got to pick Freddie up in half an hour, and James!" Aaron reminded his partner who was intent on driving him mad.

"And?" Jackson said. "We're only making out."

"That's what you think." Aaron groaned as Jackson trailed another set of kisses up Aaron's neck to his lips. "-If you- . . . Carry on- . . . like that- . . . it's not- . . . just- . . . . . . gonna be-." Aaron tried to get out between kisses as the older man assaulted his lips.

"-Look, just shut up." Jackson told him off before he continued.

He was late. He was late picking Freddie up and James. All thanks to Jackson. He knew they had both missed each other during those few days when he was holed up in the hospital, but not this much. Freddie wasn't impressed when Aaron turned up fifteen minutes late. He stood beside a teacher with a scowl on his face while James seemed unbothered by it al. Freddie wasn't going to let Aaron off easily. He didn't say a word as Aaron greeted him. The little boy continued to scowl in a mood that he hadn't been picked up on time. When they got into the car, Aaron left James to strap himself in checking the seat belt just in case afterwards, several times more than necessary. He buckled and unbuckled Freddie's seatbelt numerous of times making the little boy snap at him.

"Dad, I'm going to be late!" Freddie had snapped at him. He was trying his hardest. Jackson had told him it was record speed that was needed to get the boys back from school, changed into football kit, have a snack and taken them back to Hotton for football training. They had both forgotten it was tonight until Jackson had suddenly remembered before Aaron left through the door to pick the boys up.

Aaron managed to get the boys home, before they were severely running behind in time. Jackson got them all kited out, having gotten their kits out ready for them in their room whilst they were driving home. They left them to get changed while they got a snack together for them, knowing they would be hungry after school. They had both been downstairs in the kitchen, putting a few apple pieces and biscuits into separate small containers and filling water bottles up before they heard a fight break out upstairs.

"I'll go see what it's about." Aaron sighed being the expert of fights and violence between the two. He put down the drinks bottle he had in his hand and made his way towards the stairs.

"Thanks."

Upstairs in the boy's bedroom the two had broken out into a physical fight, both of them shouting and yelling at each other as they punched and kicked. Both had only just managed to get their shorts and t-shirt's on, Freddie with one football sock on, his shin's guarded by shin pads, whilst James still hadn't managed to get his shin guards on himself.

"Shut up!" Freddie screamed at James as he flung a fist out catching James round the back of the head as he went to tackle the smaller boy to the floor.

"Woah, woah woah! What's going on?" Aaron shouted, instantly gaining both of their attention. "Stop fighting right now." He said firmly, only ever using that voice when they were in serious trouble.

James not satisfied that Freddie had gotten in the last hit, thumped Freddie over the back, encouraging Aaron's son to hit back and kick the boy in the shins.

"You little-!" Freddie cried out before Aaron cut him off. He was impressed with his son's fighting skills but he couldn't let that over cloud his thoughts at the moment. He wasn't even supposed to encourage it as a father, Jackson would have his balls for even thinking it. He needed to split the two up before they tore each other apart.

"Stop . It. Now!" Aaron yelled more angrily this time, tearing the two apart as they continued to fight. He placed a fair distance between the two and stood in the middle flinging both of them a pissed off glare that scared the two to silence. "Now one of you is going to tell me what the hell is going on." Aaron fumed.

"He started it!" Freddie exclaimed glaring at James.

"I don't care who started it." Aaron spat. "I want to know why you're fighting like a pair of wild dogs."

"Freddie just shoved me out of no where." James accused.

"Only because you said my dad was mad!" Freddie shot back at him, taking a step forward.

Aaron held out a hand against Freddie pushing him back a little. He didn't want another fight breaking out between them. The two shared a bedroom, they needed to get along. He needed to resolve what was going on between the two right then.

"He is though!" James argued, shooting a fleeting look towards Aaron before continuing. "Auntie Charity and Sarah said he was! So did Noah."

"He's not crazy!" Freddie screamed at him.

His family had been talking about him behind his back had they? Great, now they had everyone thinking he was mad and winding Freddie up about it. "What did Auntie Charity say?"

"She said that you've lost it." James repeated to him. "That she's not surprised, you've always had a screw lose."

"Shut up!" Freddie screamed at James again, eye's burning with anger.

"And she's right, you are." James said without thinking about what he was saying. "You always make sure everything's really really really neat, you barely used to sleep, you don't go to work and mum said you're on medication for your brain."

"Right, okay boys." Aaron said buying himself a few seconds to think of how he was going to sort it out, as he knelt down to their level. "James say sorry to Freddie for saying nasty things and winding him up when he asked you to stop."

"No he-!"

"James." Aaron warned.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"Sorry for saying nasty things and winding you up." James gritted through his teeth.

"Thank you. Now Freddie say sorry to James for shoving him." Aaron ordered his son.

"Sorry James for shoving you." Freddie mumbled whilst staring at the floor.

"Good, now both of you get finished getting changed so we can get you to football practise on time." Aaron told them standing up. "And don't let me hear you two fighting again, if I do they'll be no football for a week. You hear me?"

"Yes!"

"All sorted?" Jackson asked when Aaron got back downstairs again.

"Yeah, everything's fine between those two now." Aaron told him. "Just something silly."

"Boys." Jackson laughed, rubbing Aaron's lower back as he passed him to put the drinks and containers of food into a bag. "Just think when Dizzy's old enough to walk and talk we'll have to deal with more fall outs like that upstairs."

"Yeah." Aaron sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Little did Jackson know what the two had been fighting about upstairs? James had thought he was mad, crazy, lost it. His own godson thought that, after listening to what other people had been saying. He hadn't even picked up on it himself. He hadn't even realised he was fussing so much over how neat everything had to be. He was just keeping himself busy it was either that or sleeping.

"FREDDIE! JAMES! Come on you're going to be late!" Jackson called up the stairs before turning back to Aaron.

"Right I better get these two to Hotton, you don't mind picking Erin up from my mum's do you?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shook his head. "Course not." He told him.

"Right then, I'll see you later babe." Jackson said rushing over to him, placing kiss on his lips before the boys thundered down the stairs and flung them selves out the door. "See ya!"

A/N – Thank you for such incredible feedback! It's always so lovely to hear what you guys think of it so far and your thoughts on the storyline and such like. It's amazing, thank you. I have so many ideas for this storyline now, I think the reason I left it for a while was because I couldn't think of any direction I could take it, but now I have a few ideas waiting to be used. I wonder if any of you guys picked up on the way I wrote Aaron drinking his tea, linking it to an episode on screen before he helped kill Jackson drinking water from Paddy? I noticed his habits and linked it to some of the habits that my friend had who suffers from a stress related illness. I couldn't help but write it into this, sorry. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it! Now off to write more, maybe another update to what the hell am I doing?


	11. Chapter 11

Jackson had barely just cut the engine when Freddie and James began to unbuckle their seatbelts and jump out of the car. They were so excited about getting to football practice, whatever the two had been arguing about upstairs earlier was long forgotten about when they sat in the car, which Jackson was pleased about. As soon as the two were out of the car they began running across the carpark towards the sports centre, eager to get inside. The builder quickly locked their car up and went to catch up with the two little boys, two drinks bottles in his hands having been forgotten about the excited boys. He was glad to see they two loved football practise so much. It was going to be a great way to make new friends. Bot, him and Aaron, had made many friends when they went to football when they were children, as much as it was unbelievable to think that Aaron once found it easy to make friends.

"Freddie wait up!" Jackson called to him before he joined the practice. "I'm going to pop to the supermarket while you two are here, okay? You're alright with that aren't you?" He said handing Freddie the bottled water.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Yes dad! I'm six! I'm a big boy now."

"I know you are." Jackson grinned, ruffling his son's hair. "I'll see you in a bit."

He watched as Freddie sprinted over to the group of kids, chucking the water bottles down in the collection of other kid's drinks on the side. Jackson shook his head at that, Freddie didn't care. When he started to look for where James had gone in the class, he found Mason, their football coach, looking his way. He offered him a friendly smile, nothing in it at all, and return he was given a wink followed by a cheeky smile caused by the shock on Jackson's face. Did Mason have an eye on him?

He left the two boy at football practise and drove over to other side of town to the larger supermarket. He knew they were low on a lot og things, Freddie and Aaron's breakfast cereal (despite Aaron's age he still liked to eat kiddie breakfast cereal on the odd occasion), formula and wipes for Erin and various other bits and bobs that they were missing from the kitchen and bathroom cupboards. They hadn't felt like disappearing down the shops every five minutes when they ran out of something, none of them had, not even Rhona and Paddy. They two vets had been pushed at work, due to the season and a new list of clients. Jackson had heard them discussing hiring more help, another vet, the other day. They were all finding themselves over run with one thing or another so it was ideal for Jackson to use the time in between dropping the boys off and collecting them to do some shopping, despite how much he disliked doing so.

Back at Smithy Cottage, Aaron had already gotten back from collecting Erin from Hazel's. He was a little uneasy about having Erin all to himself. He was scared that the unexplainable panic and fear that usually crept up and took hold of him whilst he was around Erin would rise up again. He was taking his medication as instructed for his anxiety and it did help a little. He wasn't on edge so much when Erin wasn't around, fretting over her safety and if she was being cared for properly, when he couldn't be around her. When she was around he still found himself fighting himself inside to not go over and hold her, check everything was okay, that everyone was doing everything just so she didn't get hurt or ill. However he knew he needed to do this, he needed to show to everyone and himself that he could take care of Erin and not let his PND control him. He didn't want to slip back to how he was like before his stay in hospital when his post natal depression was at its worst. It controlled him.

He had just put Erin down in her cot upstairs in their room. Her baby monitor turned on, on the side and the other monitor downstairs with Aaron in the lounge. He was quite pleased with himself. He had managed to make her a bottle before bed, after bathing her, without any hiccups or re-starting the whole task of making a simple bottle. It took him a while but he done it and he was pleased with himself that he had done so, no matter how easy it sounded for everyone else. It was a big deal for him. He then got her dressed in a pink baby grow for bed, making sure all the snappers were done up correctly and laid her down on her back in her cot. He stayed with her until she finally fell asleep, her little eye's fluttering shut while her small chest raised and fell with each breath she took. After he knew she asleep he found himself going downstairs, which he never found himself doing on his own accord since having Erin. He would always stay upstairs with her while she in her cot sleeping, he didn't like to leave her alone in case something happened. But today it was different, he didn't feel so over come with panic that if he left her sleeping alone something terrible would happen when she was in such a vulnerable state. Aaron felt like he could go downstairs and continue with a few chores while she slept. However, just like any parent would he made sure to turn the monitors on and take one with him, attaching it to the belt on his jeans.

The young mechanic had folded away some laundry and taken it upstairs and placed it in the correct rooms at the end of each bed before going back downstairs to finish the washing up and see what they had in the cupboards for dinner, no doubt the boys would be hungry. With dinner on the go, spaghetti Bolognese, Aaron went into the lounge and sat down in front of the tv while dinner simmered on the cooker. He found himself watching a hospital drama, some American program. He often saw Rhona watching it in the evenings when she could finally relax after a long day at work all round the farms and various other call outs. He didn't pay much attention to it at first. It was like any other typical hospital drama, car accident, building accident, armed robbery in a little shop, but then it switched to an even darker note. A baby.

The hospital drama focused on a scene in a house, the parents downstairs enjoying dinner together, before cutting to a scene upstairs, their baby upstairs sleeping in their cot. The camera zoomed in to a close up of the baby, their eyes closed peacefully as it breathed, but then the breaths got fewer and fewer until no more an eerily silence took over the drama. The camera switched back to downstairs, the parents having finished their meal, the mother standing from the table to go upstairs and check on their baby. She climbed the stairs and opened the door to the nursery, smiling as she went over to the cot on the other side of the room oblivious to what she was about to find. She reached into the cot, and picked her baby girl up. Her smile vanished instantly, panic filling her eyes as she looked down at her baby and prayed that she was dreaming. The woman began to scream, frantic calls to her husband downstairs as she rocked their baby in her arms, unable to move from the spot.

Aaron found himself unable to tear his eyes from the screen. He wanted so much to just look away or switch channels but he couldn't. He was frozen in front of the tv allowing himself to watch the nightmare that played out in the hospital drama. Then all of a sudden panic rose up inside of him, his heart thundered against his chest and stomach tightened. He couldn't stop himself thinking what if that happened to Erin? She was alone upstairs right now, while he was downstairs. He couldn't make himself move. He began to panic even more, if that were possible, his breath coming in short frantic puffs. Aaron was finding it harder and harder to breath the more he panicked over not being able to move to go check on their daughter.

"Alright Aaron?" Paddy called through from the front door by the kitchen as he walked in. The vet strolled through kitchen, pausing by the oven to smell dinner that was being cooked, and ventured into the lounge. "Aaron, you okay mate?" Paddy asked he walked round the back of the sofa and sat down beside him, noticing how the younger man had gotten himself in such a state.

Aaron shook his head. ". . . Paddy. . . .I need . . . upstairs." He panted trying to get what he wanted through the older man.

"Alright, just calm down, deep breaths." Paddy instructed the younger man as he placed his hands either side of Aaron on his arms. "Okay?"

Aaron nodded. "Erin. . . I need to get upstairs . . . need to check on Erin." He still tried to get between breaths.

"Why? She's fine." Paddy tried to assure him.

Aaron shook his head, jumping from the sofa like it was on fire and dashed through the kitchen and belted upstairs. He flew into their bedroom and raced over to the cot. He stared down at Erin, watching her critically for signs of her chest rising and falling.

"Aaron, what's wrong?" Paddy asked as Aaron picked Erin up from her cot trying every so carefully not to wake her.

"Shhh!" Aaron hissed at the older man as he lowered his ear to Erin's chest, trying to listen for her heart beat. Relief washed over him.

"Aaron, don't you think you should let Erin sleep." Paddy suggested as the baby girl in the young mechanic's arms began to stir.

"She's fine. She's alive." Aaron muttered hushing Erin in his arms.

"Of course she is." Paddy said, a little disheartened at the thought of Aaron going back a step. "Come on, put her back in her cot so she can sleep and we can go finish off dinner, they'll be back in a bit."

"No, I'm just gonna stay up here with her." Aaron told him, his gut clenching at the thought of leaving her worsen. "You can finish dinner off can't you?"

"Aaron-. . . ." Paddy tried as he watched Aaron walk over to their bed and climb onto it, lying Erin down in the middle before lying on his side beside her so he could watch her. "Fine."

The older vet went downstairs, taking his phone out of his pocket as he went into the kitchen. He dialled Jackson's number.

"Hey Jackson, it's Paddy." He said when the builder answered his phone after a long series of rings. He was obviously driving and finding a space to pull over to take the call.

"Yeah, hey Paddy what's the matter?" Jackson said. "I've been to the supermarket so if there's anything you want me to pick up it's too late." He joked.

"No it's Aaron. I came home and found him in a panic." Paddy explained to him. "I just thought I'd let you know now, while there's no little ears around. I think he'd convinced that if he leaves her she'll die. He's upstairs with her now."

Jackson sighed. "Just when I thought things were getting better." He said. "I'll talk to him when I get back."

"Okay then. See you in a bit."

"Yeah, bye Paddy."

After Jackson had ended the call with Paddy he raced over to the sports centre, ten minutes late picking the boys up. He had been left waiting in a horrendous queue at the supermarket to pay, the place had been jam packed with busy shoppers. He knew he was going to be late picking them up. He parked his car by the entrance of the sports centre and ran inside to find the James and Freddie kicking a ball around on the empty astro turf football pitch as Mason stood at the side watching over them.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry I'm so late picking them up!" Jackson quickly said as he walked over to Mason. Freddie and James continued to kick the ball between them as the jogged over from the other side of the pitch.

"That's okay." Mason assured him.

"Sorry, I was at the supermarket then there was this huge queue and then my partner's step-dad called me about him and – oh god, I'm ranting. Sorry." Jackson said. For some reason he found himself unloading all his stresses on to Mason.

"That's fine." Mason laughed. "I understand being a parent is a stressful job."

"I know tell me about it! I feel like a single parent at the moment how things are." Jackson slipped from his mouth.

"Things a little rough between you and you're partner at the moment?" Mason found himself asking. "-Sorry, you don't have to answer that! I was totally out of line."

"No, that's fine." Jackson assured him. "Partner's struggling with PND again at the moment. It's stressful for everyone right now."

"I know how you feel my ex got PND after she had our daughter." Mason sympathized.

"Oh? How did she manage?" Jackson asked. He wasn't aware that Mason had a child. He was so young. The only reason they had children at still quite a young age was because Freddie had been unplanned. None of them had thought of kids before him.

"She didn't." Mason answered bluntly. "One day she just got up and left without a word. Haven't seen her in four years."

'Her' he wasn't gay. Mason hadn't been hitting on him, Jackson thought.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Jackson offered.

Mason shrugged. "I'm not. She's an evil bitch for leaving little Amelia like that." He told him seriously before joking. "Put me off woman for life!" he laughed.

Jackson laughed.

"Dad, you're late!" Freddie reminded him as he kicked the football his way.

"Sorry little guy, got held up." Jackson said stopping the ball short in front of him with his foot.

Freddie comically sighed as he turned to pick up his water bottle and walk towards the exit. "Typical!" He said dramatically, causing both men to laugh.

"Sorry, he's been hanging out with my partner too much." Jackson informed Mason, blaming Aaron for Freddie's cheek. Who else could he have picked it up from?

"He's a funny kid, great at football." Mason said.

"Ah! Well that he get's from me." Jackson said smugly curling the ball towards Mason to prove his point.

Mason laughed before turning serious. "If you ever need to chat, you know about dealing with your partner suffering with PND, I'm here you know. I'm serious, just say and we can go for a coffee." Mason told him. "I would have loved to have someone to talk to when my ex went through it all."

"Thanks. I might take you up on that." Jackson said before saying good bye. It was only a coffee and a chat and Mason was interested in girls not guys and even if he was they were just friends.

When they got home, Jackson gave Freddie James two light bags each to carry inside to the house while he tried to carry as many bags as possible. He was trying to make fewer trips to and from the car as much as possible. He was a builder, he was used to carrying heavy bags. He had just made it inside the door on his last trip, half a dozen bags hooked on each of his arms when a can dropped from a split in one of the bags and landed hard on his bare foot having just toed his shoes off.

"Ahh!" Jackson cried out in pain, ditching the bags as quick as possible on the kitchen floor so he could see to his injured foot.

"You alright Jackson?" Paddy asked as he unpacked the bags.

"No." Jackson gritted through his teeth rubbing his foot. "Hurt. My. Effing. Foot."

Paddy chuckled. "Hate it when that happens."

"You alright unpacking these while I go see what Aaron's up to?" Jackson asked before going upstairs. Freddie and James were downstairs in the lounge eating their dinner on their laps while the shopping was being sorted.

Jackson entered their bedroom and found Aaron lying on the bed in the same spot Paddy had left him, Erin at his side sleeping peacefully.

"How've you been tonight?" Jackson asked sitting down on the bed on the other side of Erin.

Aaron shrugged. "Fine."

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "That's not what I hear, Paddy called me."

"What's he been telling you now?" Aaron snapped, glaring at Jackson.

"He told me you were in a panic earlier." Jackson said. "You haven't been up here all night have you?"

"No."

"Aaron . . ."

"Just for an hour."

"So you did go downstairs after putting her to sleep in her cot I hope?" Jackson questioned.

"Yes I did . . ."

"Then what?"

"But then. . . ." Aaron hesitated. He didn't want Jackson to think he was mad or crazy for even thinking it. "But then . . . I watched something on tv and I started to- I don't know. . . panic."

"What for Aaron? She's safe you know that. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."

"I know that." Aaron said frustrated as he rubbed at the side of his head. "But sometimes, I don't know, something just goes off in my head and I start to panic."

"Just ignore it then." Jackson said, he knew it sounded easier that what it was but he just needed them to be a normal family again.

"I can't!" Aaron hissed. "You don't think I haven't tried!"

"I know, I'm sorry." Jackson sighed. "Anyway, you coming downstairs for some dinner?"

"I will in a bit." Aaron told him, knowing he no intention of leaving Erin while she slept. That's how the baby in the hospital drama had died. The parent had been downstairs enjoying dinner while their baby slept upstairs.

"No Aaron, now." Jackson said. He too, knew that Aaron had no intention of eating tonight if Erin continued to sleep.

"No Jackson." Aaron snapped. "In a bit."

"Fine." Jackson snapped. "I can't force you to eat. But don't you dare get ill again. I'm not having this family fall apart again because you're took stupid to take care of yourself."

"Fine!"

A/N – This is a very sad and sensitive topic I know, I'm trying to be as sensitive as possible as I do not want to cause any offence. Thank you for such kind and helpful feedback!


	12. Chapter 12

A few days later, after Aaron had gone to his hospital appointment and spoken to a doctor about his PND, Jackson had indeed taken Mason up on his offer to chat over a coffee. He just needed to talk to somebody and unload all his worries and stresses to a person who understood what he was going through. Aaron seemed no better. Even though the young mechanic had gone to his appointment and been referred to a psychiatric therapist, he was still the same, not as bad as before, but still the same at the very least. This morning Jackson had found himself shouting at Aaron because the younger man kept repeating things. He didn't know why the young man kept picking up a spoon, placing it back down and repeating it until he finally dove it into his cereal, or why he kept jumping in and out of a doorway every time he went to walk into a room, but it got on his nerves no end. He had ended up snapping at Aaron for mucking about in the kitchen doorway causing an almighty row to break out between the two that had to be broken up by Rhona like they were a couple of kids. They hadn't fought like it in years. All the stress was finally putting a strain on all of them and the cracks were beginning to show.

Jackson had found Mason's mobile number printed on one of the football practise posters tucked beside the micro wave in the kitchen. He had called the football coach, nervously arranging a time and a place to meet for coffee while Aaron sulked upstairs. They decided on a small coffee shop in Hotton, Mason had already been waiting for him when he had arrived. Jackson had told Aaron that he was meeting a friend for a drink, it wasn't a lie and the young mechanic didn't seem at all bothered.

"Hi Jackson, I hope you don't mind but I had to bring Amelia with me." Mason greeted as he stood when Jackson approached them. "I couldn't find anyone to look over her this morning."

"That's okay, I understand.2 Jackson said glancing over to the little girl. "Hey Amelia, that's a very pretty dress you're wearing. You look like a little princess!" He said kindly to the little girl who giggled and hide behind her dad's legs.

"Sorry, she's a little shy." Mason apologised, as he tugged her out from behind him and sat down.

"That's okay." Jackson laughed.

"So how are things?" Mason asked, when they had ordered their coffee and something to eat.

Jackson shrugged. "They could be better, but you know how it is. Just wish things would get back to normal real soon."

"Yeah? I can understand. It's frustrating no end." Mason said. "You're partner's getting the right help though?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah he is. He's been to the hospital been referred for more help and is on medication at the moment but. . . urgh, I don't know- I just wish he'd snap out of it you know?" Jackson sighed. "It's not him."

"That's what you've got to remember it's not him. He will get better, you know. It just takes time." Mason assured him.

"Yeah I know, but how much time? Things are already strained between us as it is." Jackson told him. "I don't want Freddie around it all. Erin doesn't understand, but Freddie does. He must have heard is shouting at each other this morning."

"I can't imagine how you must be coping with Freddie. He's a lovely little boy. Amelia was a baby when my ex had PND so she couldn't understand any of it." Mason said. "What happened this morning?"

"Oh I don't know." Jackson breathed. "He's just lost the plot, and I snapped at him, then we were at each other's throats. I just don't want Freddie around any of it."

"You're both under a lot of stress." Mason said. "As for Freddie I take it you've explained things to him?"

"Yeah we have, but he still doesn't quite get it. He asked if me and Aaron were going to split up the other night like his friend's parents." Jackson sighed before drinking his coffee.

"Does it feel like that's going to happen."

"No- yea- No, never. I would never leave Aaron never." Jackson told him. "We've been through a lot together and. . ."

"I didn't ask if you 'would' split from Aaron, does it 'feel' like it's happening." Mason corrected him, watching him carefully as Amelia seemed content colouring her colouring book on the coffee table between them.

Jackson thought about it for a moment. He knew would never, ever leave Aaron. Neither of them would cope without the other, they had felt lost without each for those few days when Aaron was in hospital. So thought of leaving each other was too much to think about. However, how they were now, at each other's throats, snapping at one other constantly and breaking into arguments when ever they thought none of the kids was around was tearing them apart. ". . . I don't know, yeah It does- but I would never leave him." Jackson admitted.

Unlike Jackson, Aaron wasn't meeting up with friends for coffee to rant and rave about their latest argument or whatever, he was back at work. It was his first day back. They had agreed for him to go back to work after his hospital appointment. He needed to get back to work. Not just for Cain who had been struggling to cope with the lack of staff, but because he knew he was gonna go out of his mind holed up in Smithy Cottage any longer. He needed to have something to do with himself during the day instead of sleeping or tidying the house. It was healthy, he knew that. So that was why he had forced himself to go back to work. Cain had welcomed him back like he had never left, telling him to make them all a cup of a tea as soon as he stepped foot on the forecourt, before starting work on a fiat inside the garage.

It was like he had never been away. That morning Jackson had taken Freddie to school and he had taken Erin to his mother's. It had been a little hard leaving her there. He had lingered around for a bit, watching his mother carefully as she picked Erin up from her buggy and settled her in her arms before disappearing into the kitchen to get her a bottle ready, chatting away to the little girl in her arms. He had managed to leave her eventually and set off for work, making it just in time.

"Aaron!" Cain called for him across the garage as he laid underneath the engine of a fiat.

"What?" Aaron answered pulling himself out from underneath so he could talk to his uncle.

"I need you to go on a call out, in Hotton." Cain told him, handing him a slip of paper with the details on. "Get moving, I'll finish off here."

"Can't you go on-." Aaron started, he hated call outs.

"Nope, you're going." Cain cut across shoving him towards the call out truck when his nephew stood up and placing the keys in his hands. "See ya."

It turned out to be some daft old woman who had a bust tire that needed changing. It didn't take long to sort out as she stood over him, hovering over his shoulder watching what he was doing as she told him all about her grandchildren. He made sure to get the tire changed as quickly as possible, so he could get away as soon as he could. He was finished in twenty minutes and driving back through Hotton. Cain wouldn't miss him for another fifteen minutes or so and it was his lunch break, so Aaron parked the call out truck by a metre on the side of the road and decided to go into a sandwich bar to grab something to eat. He ordered his favourite and took it back out to the call out truck, he hadn't put any money on the metre and if a traffic warden happened to appear he would just drive off. As he ate his sandwich he sent a quick text to Chas asking how Erin was and he was glad when he got a speedy reply, a picture of the little girl dressed in a ladybug dress with matching antennas on a head band. She looked so cute. The words "new little prezzie for little Dizzy." Were added underneath the picture. He shook his head at that. The other week it had been a little bumblebee costume and before that it had been a mini mouse costume. That woman was unbelievable, he shouldn't have been surprised, she had put Freddie in numerous different costumes when he was a baby ranging from a shark, to a cowboy and a monkey, plus loads more.

After finishing his sandwich off and chucking the rubbish down in the seat well of the passengers side were a lot more rubbish was long forgotten about, Aaron started the truck up and looked around to see if it was safe to pull out. He made a double take when he thought he saw Jackson walking out of a coffee shop across the road with another man. He didn't recognise the man at all. Jackson had said he was meeting up with a friend for a coffee and as far as he knew he had met all of Jackson's friends, but obviously not this one. He watched them walk further down the road, oblivious to him sitting idle in the truck. They stopped a short distance ahead; the other guy pulled Jackson into a hug and said something in his ear, before pulling away and fixing him with a smile. Aaron felt his stomach drop. He knew things had been a little rough between them lately but surely he hadn't pushed him away into the arms another man, had he? No, it was just a friendly hug. He trusted Jackson and Jackson just said he was meeting a friend. But why couldn't he make himself drive away, but instead sit there watching them as they laughed the other man placing a hand on Jackson's forearm before they parted. Jackson crossed the road further ahead, climbing into their car as the other man walked further along the road holding hands with a dark haired little girl.

Aaron stayed on a little later that night at the garage. He told Cain he wanted to help him get on top of all the work at the garage that had been piling on top of them since his absence of leave. His uncle had been a little taken back but it was purely for selfish reasons. He needed to get his head in order before he went back home. He was obviously pushing Jackson away and he needed to fix that. But who could he when all he could think about was the way that other man was flirting with his Jackson. He wasn't usually the jealous type but now he felt threatened. He was a mess, still getting over the effects of his post natal depression. Jackson obviously was having enough of it all and he didn't blame him. Who would want to stick around him how he was at the moment? He struggled to muck around with Freddie like he usually did because he was so tired all the time, despite taking sleeping pills when he couldn't sleep at night, and he fought like cat and dog with Jackson all the time. So no wonder he was meeting up with this other guy who seemed normal. He even had a little girl.

So the decision to stay at the garage a little longer, concentrating on getting all the paper work finished was to help him get his head together before he went home. He needed to be in the best of moods and to do that he needed to be on his own. He had texted ahead, to Jackson as he didn't want to make things worse between them, letting him know he would be staying on a little extra at the garage. He knew the kids were taken care of so he didn't need to fret over who was picking them up, because Jackson had already planned to do so as he sat for another few hours inside the garage alone struggling over the paperwork and invoices, that Cain had let fall behind. He ended up calling up a few customers reminding them there invoices needed to be paid up pretty sharpish. A few of them got a little snappy with him, not happy with his helpful reminder but it needed to be done if not the books wouldn't add up.

He had found sorting through the paper work very therapeutic and didn't realise that it hadn't gotten dark outside until his phone beeped on the desk beside him, signalling he had a new text message. It was from Jackson asking him when exactly he planned to come home, as apparently he had been hours already. He checked the time on his phone and realised he had in fact been hours. It was now nine at night. He'd stayed a lot longer than he had planned to. However he had managed to get a lot of the paper work finished and up to date, only a small stack was left for him to continue with in the morning. Aaron locked up the garage and headed up through the village to Smithy Cottage in the dark, walking straight in to find Jackson sitting at the kitchen table doing paper work himself.

"Sorry, I was later than I thought I would be." Aaron said to him when he walked into the kitchen.

Jackson shrugged. "That's okay. Managed to get on with a bit of work."

"Where's the kids?" Aaron asked.

"Freddie's in bed and Erin's asleep with Rhona and Paddy in the lounge." Jackson told him.

"Oh right." Aaron answered, standing in the kitchen for a while before he realised that Jackson was too busy with his paper work to talk to him. "I'll just go grab a shower."

"Aaron?" Jackson asked, when Aaron's foot was on the first step on the stairs. "Have you eaten? There's some food left over from dinner in the fridge."

"Thanks. I'll eat that later." Aaron called back before heading upstairs.

He checked on Freddie before he hopped in the shower, kissing him on the cheek careful not to wake him before leaving him to sleep. He took a long time in the shower. Jackson was busy down stairs going through his own paper work to talk to him. He hadn't even greeted him with a kiss. But then again they had been at each other's throats this morning, both saying some hurtful things to one and other. Maybe Jackson took a little longer to get over arguments like that. As soon as he finished in the shower, he slipped on a pair of sweat pants and took his medication for his anxiety, popping one pill into his mouth and swallowing it dry before heading back downstairs. He would have usually of taken a sleeping pill at the same time, it seemed nowadays he needed to take one every night if he wanted to go to sleep. But tonight he didn't. He needed to stay awake for what he had planned. He needed to make it up to Jackson. He needed to show Jackson just how much he loved him, so he didn't run into the arms of somebody else. The thought of losing Jackson made his chest tighten involuntary and his stomach clench. Aaron couldn't lose Jackson.

The younger man padded back downstairs in just his sweatpants that clung low on his slip hips. He noticed that Jackson had cleared away all his paper work and was then standing by the sink making himself a cold drink. He crept up behind him, placing his hands on the work top either side of Jackson's body and began to place kisses along the builder's neck.

"Aaron." Jackson groaned without thinking.

"Jackson." Aaron breathed not stopping his kisses. Still gripping the work stop with his other hand, Aaron slipped his other up Jackson's shirt, smoothing it round his toned stomach.

Jackson turned round to face the younger man who kept his hand underneath his shirt, now it rested on the small of his back. He could see the want in Aaron's eyes as he stared at him, licking his lips. The builder place his hands round the back of Aaron's head, his arms resting on the younger man's shoulder's as he pulled Aaron's head closer to him so he could capture his lips against his.

They soon found themselves upstairs, most of their clothes discarded on the floor on the way to their bed. They had made sure to lock the door behind them in their haste to get each other on their bed. Jackson lay back on the middle of the bed, resting back on his arms as he stared up at Aaron who crawled his way on top of him till he was straddling his hips. He pushed the older man down, so he was flat on his back and covered his body with his. He trailed kisses along Jackson's jaw and down his neck, sucking on a spot just above his collar bone to leave a mark. He wanted people to know he was his and only his. The builder didn't disapprove he arched his back in approval and scratched marks along Aaron's bare back, groaning as the young mechanic carried on his trail of kisses further and further down his body, his hand slipping under the waist band of Jackson's trousers causing the older man to buck his hips up.

An hour later they lay together in bed. Jackson fast asleep against Aaron who laid beside him listening to the slow and even breaths of his lover. They had needed that time together. Aaron hadn't really been that into it but it wasn't about it him, it was about making Jackson feel loved. He'd been pushing the older man away for far too long and he needed to show just how much he cared about him. If that meant giving the builder what he wanted so he didn't go looking for it else where then so be it. Usually he would have been into it just as much Jackson was, but it was his medication. He just didn't feel like himself. He had hoped that he would wear himself out enough to fall asleep beside his partner, wrapped up in each other's arms as they drifted off but it hadn't quite worked like that. He was still wide awake next to Jackson, wishing to fall asleep without any medicated help.

Carefully, while the older man slept underneath the covers, Aaron slipped out of bed and pulled on a pair of discarded sweatpants by the door before he left the room. He crept downstairs and went through to the lounge where Erin was fast asleep in Rhona's arms as the two vets watched a movie.

"Hey Aaron." Rhona whispered when she spotted the young mechanic walk into the room.

"Hey." Aaron said quietly. "Do you want me to take her, I can put her to bed."

"Nah, your alright, I'm enjoying the cuddles." Rhona smiled. "You look shattered, go to bed. I'll put Erin down when we've finished watching this." She promised.

"You sure?" Aaron questioned standing by the doorway.

"Of course she is. Go on." Paddy assured him, encouraging him to do as he was told.

"Okay. Night." Aaron said quietly as he left the room and padded back upstairs again.

He sneaked back into the bedroom, a sleeping Jackson none the wiser to him disappearing downstairs. He slipped back underneath the covers; sitting up as he hunted inside his bedside draw, hunting for the sleeping pills he had been prescribed. He popped one in his mouth and wiggled further down in bed; hooking his arms round Jackson's waist and pressing his body close up against him. He needed to make an effort in making sure Jackson new he was cared for.

A/N – Thank you again for such great feedback! You are all so lovely.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning both men woke next to each other, still tangled together. Jackson was the first to wake. Unlike Aaron he wasn't taking sleeping pills that took a while to shake off in the mornings. The builder rolled onto his side to face the younger sleeping man, running a hand up and down Aaron's bare chest hoping it would rouse the young mechanic. He looked so peaceful as he slept, as though nothing was worrying him and he was free from all the stress. However, he knew as soon as Aaron woke it wouldn't last long. As he waited for Aaron to wake beside him, he continued running a hand along his bare skin and trailing patterns, he craned his neck to see into Erin's cot. He presumed that somebody had placed her in her cot last night as he could hear the faint happy contented gurgles and mumbles coming from a wide awake Dizzy as she lied their. He was pleased to see that she had gone through the night without crying which was a first. Lately it had been him who had to get out of bed at night and soothe their little girl as nothing woke the young mechanic after he had taken his sleeping pills.

"Morning, gorgeous." Jackson mumbled in a hoarse sleepy voice when he caught Aaron stirring beneath his hand. The sight of Aaron waking in the morning's still caught his breath. The young mechanic would screw his face up as he arched his back to stretch his sore muscles and then scrub at his face with one of his hands before turning towards Jackson and nuzzle his head closer to his partner, burying his face from the morning light.

"Too early." Aaron groaned snaking a hand round Jackson and tugging him closer.

Jackson laughed. "No it's not. It's gone seven. We should be up already." Jackson told him. "You're meant to be at the garage at nine and Freddie's at school as well."

"Few more minutes." Aaron whined holding Jackson tighter.

"No. I need a shower. I have to meet the estate agents at half eight this morning." Jackson told him, releasing Aaron's arms around him.

"Whatever." Aaron mumbled. He pulled Jackson back towards him forcefully and planted a kiss on his lips before shoving him away. He was quite pleased with his handy work on Jackson's skin. The purplish bruise like marks he had made last night on his neck, chest and thighs were more prominent now. The young mechanic hadn't been the only one making marks on the other person's skin but he was glad that a few he had made on the builder would be less easy to hide, unless he wore a scarf wrapped round the whole of his neck.

Jackson disappeared into the bathroom after pulling on a pair of boxers, leaving Aaron to wake up a little more. He rolled back over onto his back and stretched once more, hoping it would help him shake off sleep a little more. He had noticed that whilst taking pills to help him sleep, it took him even longer to wake in the mornings and shake it off. It had never been easy for him to spring out of bed and be full of energy before, but now he felt sluggish and even more tired when he woke. He often found himself needing a few coffees to wake him up fully. Sometimes he felt like a Zombie when he first got up.

He stretched one last time before rolling over again, and climbing out of bed, sitting on the edge to scrub the tiredness from his eyes and stand up. He padded over to Erin in her cot and picked up in his arms, cradling her to his shoulder as he crossed the room and went across the hall to wake the boys up.

"Freddie! James! Wake up." Aaron called to them as he opened their bedroom door. "Be down in five minutes if not I'm coming back up." He warned them as he turned on his heel and went downstairs.

"Morning." Paddy greeted as he stood over the toaster.

"Thanks for putting her to bed last night." Aaron thanked the older man as he fished around in one of the kitchen cupboards for Erin's things.

"No problem." Paddy assured him as he popped the toast up and began to butter the hot pieces of bread. "Want any?"

"No you're alright. I'm gonna grab something from the cafe after I've taken Dizzy to mum's." Aaron told him as he began to do his funny routine were he repeated everything. He picked up Erin's bottle, placed it back down on the counter and picked it up again, before repeating it all over.

"You know what, go chase those boys up. I'll sort Erin out." Paddy said round his mouthful of toast as he held out his arms to take Erin. He had noticed Aaron fiddling about too much.

"You sure?" Aaron asked a little on edge, wary as he handed his baby girl over to him.

"Of course I am." Paddy told him. "Go on, they're going to be late if not."

"Oh. . . alright then." Aaron said before heading back upstairs.

When he got back upstairs, he knocked on the boys bedroom door again, loudly this time before he threw it open and told them to get out of bed. Freddie, just like his dad's in the morning, rolled over and pulled his duvet cover over his head. This made Aaron smirk. He pulled the cover off of the tired boy and began tickling his feet.

"C'mon Freddie! James is up and out of bed already." Aaron laughed as the little boy squirmed and giggled.

"No! Stop! . . .- s'not fair¬ . . .nooo!" Freddie panted between laughs as he wiggled to get away from Aaron.

"Come on then, out of bed and downstairs." Aaron told his son stepping back to let him breath and clam down.

Now that he was awake for sure, Freddie got out of bed and did as he was told while Aaron pulled their school uniform out from the wardrobes and placed them on their beds. The young mechanic then headed back into their bedroom and grabbed a fresh set of clothes for himself.

"I need that." Jackson announced as he stepped back into their room with just a towel wrapped round his waist.

"I'm sure you did." Aaron smirked as he took in Jackson.

"Not too happy about all the marks you've left on me." Jackson complained as he stared down at a couple on his chest.

"You weren't complaining last night." Aaron reminded him still smirking.

"Yeah well. . ." Jackson laughed. "How am I supposed to hide the ones on my neck!"

Aaron shrugged. "Your problem." He said walking past to the bathroom.

"Thanks for the help." Jackson teased at Aaron's retreating back.

Jackson finished up upstairs, getting dressed and putting together Erin's bag to take to Chas's. He made sure he had collected all his paperwork he would need that morning into a folder to take downstairs with him before he left. Just as he was making their bed, his phone went off on the side.

**Hi, Jackson. Hope evrythg is ok. Let me knw if u want to talk again. Here if u nd me. Mason x **

The builder smiled at the text. He barely knew this Mason guy, but it seemed he understood what he was going through at the moment. The previous morning at the cafe he had told Mason how hard he was finding things with coping with Aaron and making it seem everything was perfectly fine to their little son. The football coach had understood, told him he knew what he was going through and advised him on some of the help he could get. He even told him a few stories about how it effected his ex. He just hoped that Aaron would never pack up and leave one day without a word. Though he doubted it. The young mechanic would never do that to their family, no matter what was going on inside that head of his.

He sent him a quick reply back thanking him for the previous morning, and again for reminding him that he was there if he needed him, before he continued making their bed and took the file of paperwork downstairs.

When Aaron got out of the shower, he was already dressed, but he had forgotten to take his anxiety medication. He was seeing a psychiatrist next week who were hoping to gradually take him off his medication which he was thankful for. He wasn't keen on seeing daily medication as a solution. Just as he was about to take his medication he heard Jackson's phone go off on the side. Curious to see who it was, if it was the friend he had met up with the other morning he picked it up and read the message.

**Dnt be silly. I enjoyed ystday have to do it again sometime. Whnver you want to meet again, jst give me a call. As I said always here for you mate. Mason xxx**

He wasn't happy. Who was this Mason guy? Aaron quickly made sure he marked the message unread and placed it back where he found it on the side. The next thing he knew was Jackson bursting into the room looking for his phone.

"I left my phone up here somewhere!" He panicked searching everywhere, having forgotten where he had left it. "I need to be getting into Hotton in a bit!"

"Don't worry, calm down. I'm sure it's round here somewhere." Aaron said, pretending to look for it as well. "Here, is this it?" He said holding the object out for the builder to take. "You muppet."

"Hey!" Jackson exclaimed taking the phone. "I'll see you later. Make sure Freddie get's to school on time and Dizzy's with Chas today isn't she?"

"Yes and yes!" Aaron laughed before Jackson grabbed him by his waist pulled him close and kissed him.

"See you in a bit." Jackson murmured against his lips before he pulled away.

When Jackson left he continued tidying the rest of the bedroom, grabbing the throw at the end of their bed and flinging it in the air before letting it float down and settled neatly on top of their bed. He didn't noticed his thin blister back of medication getting caught up in the little breeze made by the throw and fall down the back of his bedside table.

The young mechanic carried on downstairs after finishing tidying up, his anxiety medication forgotten about on the side as he rushed downstairs to hurry the boys up and see if Erin was ready to be taken to her Nan's. He shepherded the boys outside to the car, Jackson having took the van into town, with their school bags and footballs. He made sure Erin was strapped into her car seat properly, more than double checking everything, and told the boys to strap themselves in before double checking them as well.

For some reason he had found himself more distracted than usual at work. Cain had snapped at him plenty of times to concentrate on what he was doing throughout the day. Aaron couldn't shake off the feeling of panic that was ever so slowly creeping up inside of him. He wasn't sure why he felt more on edge today than before. Maybe it was because he was worried about Jackson. Yeah, maybe that was it. He was worried over what Mason was playing at with his man. That was why he felt a little panicked. He was fretting and getting himself all worked up over the thought of Jackson seeing Mason. But he wasn't seeing him today. He was seeing an estate agent this morning to sort out the first step of their build.

"Watch what you're doing!" Cain yelled at him as he walked into the older mechanic, who was carrying a cup of tea in each hand. Scolding hot liquid spilled onto his chest and cried out in surprise.

Aaron tugged at his soaked overalls and t-shirt, pulling them away from his skin to prevent burning any more. "Sorry." He mumbled, staring down at the mess.

Cain placed the now half empty cups of tea on the side and shook his hands to rid them of the burning liquid that had spilt on him. "Are you even in there today?" Cain barked at him through pain.

". . . What? –Yeah. I said I was sorry!" Aaron snapped.

"Go home and get changed." Cain spat him, still annoyed over the tea.

"What?"

"I said go home and get changed. But don't think I'm letting you off. You can come straight back here and carry on." Cain ordered. "I still need that land rover and Volvo finished for the clients into the morning!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Aaron mumbled already trudging down the forecourt.

When he got back Jackson had already picked James and Freddie up from school and was then on the phone to somebody talking about planning permission in their bedroom when he walked in. The builder looked a little surprised to see him back so early. He raised an eyebrow at the stain on Aaron's shirt, curious to know what had happened but unable to ask.

"Accident." Aaron mumbled quietly when he caught the builder looking. He peeled off his damp t-shirt, folding it up carefully before crossing the hall and ditching it in the laundry hamper in the bathroom, his overalls still dangling round his waist. He then went back into their bedroom and pulled out another t-shirt. He hadn't noticed the angry red mark covering the majority of his chest or stomach as he pulled on his fresh t-shirt but Jackson had.

"Sorry, could I call you back in a minute please?" Jackson asked the person on the other end of the phone. ". . . thank you."

The older man ended the call and walked over to Aaron, pulling up his t-shirt. "What have you done now?" He asked.

"I walked into Cain when he was carrying tea." Aaron explained feeling stupid. It was bad enough Cain getting onto his case.

"That was a bit silly." Jackson teased. "Let me see. . ." He said already pulling up the younger man's t-shirt before he was given permission. "Oh, Aaron. . . Does it hurt?"

"A little, but I'm fine. Cain needs me back at the garage." Aaron assured him. He didn't want Jackson worrying about him.

"That need's seeing to though. It looks really sore." Jackson told him, looking at the redness closely.

"Seriously, I'm fine." Aaron told him, pulling his t-shirt out of Jackson's grip and down over his body. "I'll be back in a few hours yeah?"

"If you're sure." Jackson sighed.

"I am." Aaron grinned before thundering back downstairs and racing back to the garage.

Nearly a week later and Aaron was really starting to panic. He'd somehow managed to lose his medication. He couldn't remember where he had left it and he didn't want to worry Paddy or Jackson or anyone else for that matter, about it. He should be able to manage keeping track of where he leaves his medication. It wasn't that hard. As a result of being out of medication for anxiety until he found them, he was taking his sleeping pills more often than usual to combat the effects of no medication to help calm his worries. It wasn't the worlds smartest idea but he couldn't think of anything else to do while he searched everywhere he could think of for the medication. He had found the box when he came home a few nights back, it was still on the side from where he had left it that morning but the pills were no where to be seen. So instead he had taken a sleeping pill fighting sleep as he carried on his usual evening chores, taking care of the children, cooking dinner and tidying up after everyone. He'd been doing that for the past few nights as well as taking another one at night when he found he couldn't sleep at two in the morning.

However, it wasn't the smartest idea in the world. He now found it even more of a struggle to get out of bed and wake up. It took Jackson shouting in his ear and shaking him to rouse him to semi-consciousness. Wednesday morning, the builder had had enough of waiting around for Aaron to finally drag himself out of bed and wake himself up to take the boys to school so he did it himself. He didn't know what was wrong with the young mechanic but he always seemed tired. The younger man was still lying in bed when he heard the kids run out the house and slam the front door behind them. He needed to get himself sorted. He was due in at work in a few minutes.

He took extra long in the shower on Wednesday morning. He even switched it to cold to make himself alert for the day ahead. By the time he got downstairs he was well and truly late for work. He made himself a strong coffee, which he downed in under a minute and legged it out of the door. Aaron still struggled to keep his eyes open even in the fresh air walking to work.

"What time do you call this?" Cain barked at him as soon as he stepped foot on the forecourt.

"I'm sorry, I'll make the time up." Aaron assured him.

"Make sure you do." Cain told him as Aaron went through to the back and flicked the kettle on to make himself another coffee. "Uh! Before you make yourself settled I need you to go into town and pick up the part's I ordered last night." Cain instructed him.

"What? I've only just got here." Aaron moaned. He needed another coffee.

"Too bad." Cain smirked. "Go on, get going, I need some of them now so I can get on."

"Then why don't you go." Aaron whinged.

"Because I've got other things to do and I'm your boss and I told you to get them." Cain reminded him, chucking a set of keys at him.

Still not quick on his feet, he fumbled for the keys catching them just before they hit the ground.

"Go on, off you go. Usual place." Cain told him.

"Yeah whatever," Aaron sighed, walking over to the black golf and climbing in the driver's side.

A/N – thank you again for such fantastic and inspiring reviews and feedback!


	14. Chapter 14

Jackson was in Hotton again that morning, sitting in the same coffee shop from last week with Mason. They had arranged to meet up for another drink. The builder just found talking to Mason really easy. He knew he had his mum, Paddy and his friends to talk to but none of them had been through what he was through, Mason had. The football coach listened to him intently and understood just how frustrated he was finding things. He had just finished talking to the council, managing to draw up a plan for building permission for the house he planned to build with Aaron, when he met up with Mason. He had texted him the night before arranging to meet with him that morning, when things seemed to be getting on top of him again.

". . . I don't know, He's just driving me insane." Jackson sighed. "He's more on edge lately and that's when he's not sleeping!"

"Is he sleeping a lot then?" Mason questioned as he sat opposite the builder.

"Yeah, quite a bit but when he's awake he's like a zombie." Jackson told him. "I can't even get a decent conversation out of him."

"Must be tough on you." Mason said. "Having to cope with him, keep on top of the chores and take care of your kids whilst trying to start the build on your home. I can't imagine how hard you're finding it. I was living in our flat with Amelia and my ex when she was going through it and there was no other children to look out for."

"Yeah well it's happened before. I'm sure I can cope like before." Jackson sighed. "It's just nice to talk to someone about it all-."

The builder was cut off by his mobile ringing on the coffee table between them, an unknown number flashing on the screen. "-Sorry, it's most probably the estate agents or something." Jackson said to Mason before he answered the call.

All colour drained from the older man's face as he listened intently to what the person on the other said to him.

"Jackson?" Mason said as Jackson ended the call, his face a picture of pure terror. "What's wrong?"

"It's Aaron."

Jackson made it to Hotton General in record time. He burst into the family room to find Chastity already waiting inside, a bundle of nerves as she paced the floor space.

"How is he?" Jackson questioned as soon as he stepped foot inside the room.

Chas spun round to face him, tears streaming down her face. "He's not good! I saw him when they were bringing him in." She told him.

She'd gotten the call fifteen minutes ago while she was at work. She was out the back, sorting through the empty boxes of crisp packets when her mobile went off in her back pocket of her tight jeans. As soon as she was told that her son was on his way to hospital due to a car accident she was shooting out of the pub and barking at Cain to take her to the hospital as fast as he could. They had both arrived at the hospital just as they were racing Aaron through the corridors. She had to be held back by her older brother to stop her from running up to him and getting in the way of the flustered Doctors and Nurses. He was a mess. Even from where she stood restrained she could see the blood and numerous amounts of equipment attached to him as he was strapped to the stretcher. Doctors and Paramedics reeled off medical jargon as they raced him down to ER.

Jackson crossed the room and pulled the dark haired woman into his arms. "He's gonna be okay. This Aaron, he's a tough guy."

"I hope so." Chas sobbed. "He was a mess!"

They both turned towards the door when Cain walked in, looking no better than the both them, worry was etched all over his face as he scrubbed a hand across. "Any news sis?" Cain asked as he perched on the edge of a chair.

"No, nothing." She answered as Jackson let her go to sit next to her brother.

"I shouldn't have told him to go collect them parts . . ." Cain thought out loud as his leg jumped up and down quickly.

"You wouldn't have known." Jackson told him.

"But I should have!" Cain snapped. "He was barely with it this morning. I should have known that he was in no fit state to drive!"

"You wouldn't have known." Chas weakly tried to argue.

"Has anyone let Paddy know?" Jackson asked, suddenly realising that Aaron's, close enough, dad wasn't there.

"Yeah, I was outside calling him. He said he'll be here as soon as he could. He's gonna ask Rhona to take care of the kids." Cain told him.

"Oh god, I forgot about them." Jackson groaned. Freddie Erin's dad was in hospital for the second time in under two months.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Rhona we will explain everything to Freddie so he understands and doesn't get upset." Chas told him.

"I know it's just Aaron's in here again and . . ." Jackson sighed sitting down opposite them on the edge of the coffee table. "I just hope it's nothing serious."

Half an hour later and the doctor who had been treating Aaron since his admission was spotted outside talking to a group of medical staff, still dressed in scrubs and a cap. Not knowing whether he was the right doctor or not, Jackson sprinted out of the family room and ran up to them. He needed to know what was happening they had been waiting ages.

"Excuse me? Could you tell me anything about Aaron Livesy?" Jackson demanded.

"I'm sorry, you are?" The doctor asked looking at the builder who had interrupted what he was telling the nurses.

"I'm Jackson Walsh, his partner. I need to know whether he's okay or not!" Jackson rushed at him, as Chas and Cain gathered behind him.

"He's out of surgery for now." The doctor told him looking very grave.

"What does that mean? Is he okay or not?" Jackson snapped, he knew he was being rude but he was at the end of his patients.

"We'll let you know when we have him settled in a room." The doctor told him being extremely vague.

"How long as that going to be?" Cain asked behind Chas.

"As I said, I'll send a nurse along to let you know as soon as we have him assessed and settled into a room." The doctor told them again before turning back to his medical staff and addressing them with a series of complicated instructions.

When a nurse finally did arrive to let them know that they were allowed to see Aaron, they had been waiting for another hour and Paddy had arrived in that time. The nurse showed them through to ICU and told them only two at a time to see him. Cain and Paddy both stood back, telling Chas and Jackson to go in first. They were a little hesitant at first. The nurse had warned them not to be alarmed by the state he was in and the machines that looked ever so intimidating. They both took tentative seats either side of the young mechanic as he lay still in the hospital bed with sound of whooshing and beeping from the many machines. The sight of the younger man laying still in bed, looking so vulnerable caught their breaths. He looked so pale. Numerous cuts adorned his face, along with bruising and a large bandage to the right side of his head.

Jackson swallowed down the urge to throw up what he last ate as he stroked a hand along Aaron's forearm, careful not to disturb anything. He was so cold.

"Do you think he can here us?" Chas asked quietly as she wiped at her eyes.

"I. . . I don't know." Jackson said clearing his throat. They were still waiting for the doctor stop by and fill them in on what exactly was going on with the young mechanic. All they had to go by was what they were told by the hospital on the phone and what they were seeing now. All sorts of worst case scenarios were being thought up in their heads.

"Aaron, love . . ." Chas cautiously began to whisper to the younger man. "It's me, your mum and Jackson."

Nothing.

"We need you to pull through this okay?" Chas warned him still keeping her voice just above a whisper. "Freddie and Dizzy are waiting for you at home and Jackson needs you okay-."

There was a knock at the door, before in strolled the doctor who they had questioned earlier on and a police officer. The doctor was out of his scrubs and dressed in black trousers and blue shirt, his dark tie tucked in between the buttons of his shirt to keep from getting in his way. He balanced a clip board in his hands as he walked further into the room coming to a stop just at the bottom of Aaron's bed.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Evans." He announced to them all. "I'm sorry about not being able to give you much to go on earlier, but this young man had us all in a fluster." He told them, panicking both Jackson and Chas. "But don't worry! We have made sure he's stable."

"What's- What happened?" Chas said shaking her head to think clearly.

"Ms Dingle I'm PC Cage, your son was brought in this morning, due to a car crash. It is believed that witnesses saw his car veer off the edge of the road at the last minute the car made a quick abrupt turn to avoid going into road railings where it then clipped the curb before it began to roll several times. After four complete rolls, the car came to a stop where witnesses ran to the scene." The police officer addressed Chas, where he stood still at the door. "They managed to call for an ambulance and keep Mr Livesy conscious until the paramedics arrived on scene."

"Oh god." Chas cried, bringing a hand up to her mouth in shock.

"Your son suffered a major laceration to the head which we believed occurred when he could have banged his head on the driver's side window. The blow to the head caused a fracture in his skull which caused internal bleeding." Doctor Evan's explained to them. "We had to perform emergency surgery to cease the internal bleeding and give him several blood transfusions due to the loss of blood on scene and en-route to hospital."

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Jackson spoke up for the first time since they had entered.

"Time will tell." Doctor Evan's honestly answered him. "Head injuries can be very unpredictable. We'll try our best to make sure he remains in a stable condition and on his way to recovery but it's really up to him now."

"Thank you." Chas said to the doctor and police officer.

"You're welcome." Doctor Evan's assured her. "For now we'll continue to observe him and make sure he's comfortable. Any more questions just let me know." He told them. "Officer Cage is here to ask a few questions to help pin point the cause of the accident."

"How are we supposed to help with that?" Chas demanded. "We weren't even there."

"Just need to know what frame of mind Aaron was in this morning and such like." PC cage explained to her. They had gone over Aaron's records, scene his recent history, referrals and medication he was on.

"What do you mean what frame of mind he was in?" Chas exclaimed obviously distressed.

"You don't think he did this on purpose did you?" Jackson demanded looking utterly horrified with the conclusion.

"We're just trying to put together as much as we can." PC cage told them. "Now could I ask you a few questions?"

"Fine! But my Aaron would never do this on purpose! Never." She told them firmly. "He would never do this to his little boy and girl."

"Now Ms Dingle did you see Aaron at all this morning . . . ?" PC cage addressed.

The questioning from the police officer continued for another forty five minutes. He wanted to know how Aaron seemed not only the morning, but the previous night and throughout the past weeks. He even went as far back as the suicide attempt when he was eighteen. Questioning everything he could possibly think off. He asked them about Aaron's medication he was now prescribed and how it effected him. He wanted to know if Aaron ever seemed not himself, anything that would alert them to something out of the blue happening. They asked how he was around Freddie and Erin, how he was after each child's birth. They answered every single question honestly, disputing on a few between each other. Jackson answered truthfully and bare honest while Chas decided to sugar coat some of her answers, thinking it would protect her son.

"Thank you for you co-operation." PC Cage told them as he stood to leave the room, hat tucked under his arm. "I'll most probably be in contact again in the next few days."

"That's fine." Jackson said, while Chas went straight back to making Aaron her number one priority,.

"We should probably let Paddy and Cain in to see him." Jackson suggested to Chas when the police officer left. "We could go get a coffee, be real quick." He tried to persuade.

He managed to tear the dark haired woman away from her son's bedside long enough to allow Cain and Paddy to get a look in, and for them to grab a coffee. He explained to them what the doctor had told them before they left for the nearest coffee machine. They all hoped that the mechanic would pull through. Not for them but for the kids. Cain was racked with guilt and nothing that either of them said seemed to ease the guilt that he had put upon himself. The accident was nobody's fault, that's why it was an accident. They couldn't waste time on pointing the finger and blaming numerous of other things that could of led to Aaron getting in the car and crashing it. They could have of done something to prevent it but they hadn't because they didn't know it was going to happen. They didn't know that they were going to spend there Wednesday in the hospital fretting over Aaron.

A/N – Thank you for such great feedback! It's a little shorter than usual, I've gotten a mind block! I need to think of a few more ideas.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N – It's been so long and I am so sorry for such a long break between updates! I have been over run with work and studies. I hope this makes up for it. I'm always thinking about when I can do another update as soon as I can, so don't think I have forgotten about my fics, because I haven't! Thank you for such great feedback, hope you enjoy!

It had been nearly a whole week since Aaron had been involved in a car accident and been admitted to hospital. Jackson had tried to carry as much as possible, making sure not to disrupt their children's daily routine. Freddie had started asking where his daddy was once was again. The little boy didn't quite understand why his dad had disappeared. Jackson had tried to tell him that his daddy was very poorly at the moment and was away somewhere, where special people where helping him get better for his son and daughter. But Freddie still didn't quite understand the seriousness of it all and Jackson didn't want to tell him the full truth of it all in case he scared him. So he tried his best to answer all the questions that were thrown his way by the little boy. He was thankful that Erin was too small to understand let alone ask questions.

Apart from the difficult questions, Jackson was also finding it difficult to put away his anger towards the young mechanic for his pure stupidity of getting into the car whilst on the medication he was on. He couldn't believe how stupid the mechanic had been, knowing that the medication he was on to fight against and help his pnd slowed his reactions and lowered his alertness. He just couldn't shake the anger he felt towards him and found it difficult to go in and see Aaron whilst still in coma in hospital, hooked up to various machines to monitor his heart rate and other various observations. Jackson had found himself once again, meeting up with Mason and couple of times that week to unload all the worries and stress he had bottled up once more. He found the football coach a huge support.

On Friday the doctors had told Jackson and the rest of Aaron's family that they were hopeful to see him waking up in the next few days. They were happy with the way Aaron's brain was healing, the swelling had gone down an awful lot and Aaron had been showing signs of regaining consciousness the previous day. On Saturday Jackson was a little disappointed for Freddie, when it came round to his first ever football match and Aaron was still in hospital having yet to regain consciousness to watch his son's first match. However, Freddie didn't seem that at all effected it buy it that morning as he tied raced out of the car and shot across the car park to Hotton Sports Centre where his team were playing the under 10's boys football team from robblesfield. Freddie was too excited to even notice that his other dad wasn't there to watch him, as Jackson and Erin watched him from the stands warming up with his teammates.

Throughout the first half of the match, Jackson was amused to see that Freddie was quite the comedian in his team. Whenever one of his teammates scored a goal, Freddie would pull the front of his shirt over his head and do a little victory wiggle and when it came to him scoring a goal, Jackson was shocked to see his little boy, doing cartwheels down the pitch. The builder had an idea on where the little boy had learnt to do cartwheels, Sarah had often watched over Freddie for them while they were at family parties in the summer. Freddie had made quite a few mums in the stand sitting with Jackson, chuckle at his liveliness. Just when half time was brought round and the all the boys had rushed over to the refreshment table full of water and fruity snacks, Jackson's phone went off in his pocket.

"Hello?"

Jackson listened carefully to the voice on the other end of the phone. The voice belonged to a nurse on Aaron's ward and Hotton general. She was calling to let Jackson know that Aaron had woken up and was asking for him. The builder found himself torn, after ending the call. He was torn between staying and watching the rest of his son's football match and going to find out more about how Aaron was doing after waking up. He had another hour to go as yet before the match was over. He had tried to get the nurse to tell him more information on the phone, but she had been adamant that she couldn't tell him anymore on the phone but only in person.

"Alright there Jackson?" Mason asked as he took the empty seat beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. . . It's just . . ." Jackson thought as he struggled to make a decision. "I don't know what to do. That was the hospital that just called, Aaron's awake. They need me in to talk about things but I've got the rest of his match to watch."

"Go see Aaron, Freddie won't miss you – no offence. He's too wrapped up in all the excitement." Mason told him.

"Yeah but what am I going to do with the kids? My mum's in leeds today, on an art course and Paddy and Chas will be at the hospital with Aaron and Adam's working as well." Jackson rattled on.

"- I'll take care of them."

"I can't ask you to-" Jackson began.

"-It's fine! Trust me I wouldn't offer if it wasn't. I can sit with Erin while Jake takes care of the second half of the match. He'll be fine, and as for afterwards, they can come keep Amelia company, watch a DVD or something." Mason assured him.

"You've got there car seats in your car haven't you? I can see you've got Erins." Mason asked Jackson. Indicating to the carry/car seat he had on the floor by his feet with a single white soft blanket draped over it.

"Urm, yeah course." Jackson answered.

"Well then, I'll just go tell Jake that I just need to do something quickly and we can go put them in my car." Mason told him. "You can call me or whatever when you want to pick the kids up."

"Are you sure?" Jackson asked the football coach.

"Of course I am, just wait here a sec." Mason said darting off to go find Jake and explain where he was disappearing to for a few minutes.

Jackson juggled Erin on his hip as he held her baby bag in one hand and Mason carried her baby car seat in his hand. The placed Erin's car seat in Mason's car first before going off to Jackson's and taking Freddie's out to put into the football coach's car.

"Now Erin should have everything she needs in there for a few hours. Enough milk and nappies." Jackson told Mason. "there's a spare change of clothes and her favourite toy in there as well."

"Don't worry Jackson, she'll be fine and so will Freddie." Mason chuckled. "No go see Aaron!"

"Right okay, yeah." Jackson sighed, handing Erin over to Mason. "Be good baby girl." He said to her kissing her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"See you later Jackson, drive carefully." Mason told him before the builder turned back to his car.

It took him twenty minutes to get across to the other side of Hotton, to Hotton general. The builder had parked his car as close to the hospital as he could, thinking it a little strange to not have Freddie's black and blue booster seat and Erin's pink and grey car seat not in the car at all. Jackson quickly raced through the many corridors and staircases to the ward that Aaron had been staying on for the past week. The closer he got the more, anxious he was to see Aaron awake again. He was still angry towards the younger mechanic but he couldn't let that show. Aaron needed him to be there for his recovery and he hadn't a clue what state Aaron was going to be in when he woke. The nurse on the phone had held back information on his condition.

When he reached the neurosurgical unit, Jackson made a beeline to Aaron's room. Through the window he could already see Chas and Paddy standing around Aaron's bed talking to his doctor. He couldn't see Aaron, he was hidden by Paddy and Chas who had chosen to stand in front of the window blocking his view. He took a deep breath, bracing himself before walking into the room. He saw the doctor first, stood at the end of Aaron's bed, explaining Aaron's current condition to Chas and Paddy, before he saw the young mechanic in the hospital bed. He was propped up against some pillows. His eyes half open as he stared unfocused at a spot in front of him, yet to pick up that Jackson had entered the room. He seemed detached to what was going on around him. The stitches on the side of his head from surgery were still visible through his short cropped hair.

"Jackson, you're here!" Chas exclaimed when she noticed Jackson standing in the door way behind the doctor.

"Where else would I be?" Jackson said, grimacing. "How is he?" He asked the doctor, still looking at Aaron. He had yet to tear his eyes from the young mechanic. It felt so good to see him awake after so long.

"I was just explaining to his parents." Doctor Evans said. "Aaron woke up an hour ago now and is doing as expected. We have run through a few tests to see how well his healing and how he if effected."

"Effected?" Jackson asked. He hoped that Aaron wasn't effected from the head injury. A bad head ache maybe, but nothing life changing?

"He's having trouble with strength on his left side at the moment, but nothing to worry about as of yet." Doctor Evans explained. "He's still in the early stages of recovery. With the seriousness of his head injury, additional effects are to be expected."

"So what does this mean, trouble with strength on his left side?" Jackson questioned. He needed to know more than that.

"It just means he's having trouble with picking things up, holding things. We'll know later on if it effects his walking but for now we would like it if he remained in bed. Apart from that he seems fine, he hasn't lost any vision or hearing, which is good." Doctor Evan's told him. "I wouldn't be too concerned, most likely he will gain full strength back in his left side. For now I would just be there for him and be patient. Is there anything else you would like to ask me?"

"No, that's it thank you." Jackson said, waiting for Chas or Paddy to say if they had any more to ask.

"Well then, I'll be back later to check on him." Doctor Evans said. "Make sure he rests."

Jackson waited for Doctor Evan's to disappear out the door to his next patient before he made his way closer to Aaron's side. The young mechanic had managed to drift off to sleep during Jacksons and the doctors brief discussion, unable to keep awake any longer.

"We'll leave you two to it." Paddy said, taking Chas's arm and guiding her out the room, leaving Jackson thankful for the privacy.

"Aaron. . ." Jackson tried to coax awake. " . . . It's me, Jackson. I'm glad you're awake now. We've missed you." He said quietly.

He could see the young mechanic fighting to wake up again.

"Come on. . . wake up for me." Jackson whispered.


	16. Chapter 16

Jackson wasn't speaking to Aaron and Aaron wasn't speaking to Jackson. When Aaron had woken up again to Jackson by his bedside they had gotten into an almighty argument. Aaron had wanted to know where the kids were, Jackson had of course explained to him that Mason was taking care of them after all he had been such a great supportive ear recently he could relie on the coach to care for their children. Apparently that wasn't how Aaron saw things. He was furious that they were with mason he couldn't believe that that man was still trying to worm his way into his family. They had barely known the man five minutes, Jackson seemed to know a lot more about him then he did and he was leaving him responsible with their toots precious things in the world.

Of course Aaron had ripped into one. Berating Jackson a bad parent for leaving them with a stranger, demanding that he was to go pick them both up at once and bring them to the hospital were he knew he could make sure they were safe. Jackson had laughed told him there was fat chance of that happening. He was going to he bossed around by the younger man and spoken to like that. He wasn't the one who had ended up in hospital because of a car crash. And at least he managed to keep awake through a whole day and not walk around like a zombies most of the time.

It was at that point the doctor had walked into the room with further test results he had taken when Aaron was admitted. He had found the results the day after but had wanted to wait until Aaron was responsive enough to answer his concerns. He had asked the young mechanic if he would prefer they spoke in private but Aaron seemed he wasn't bothered if Jackson heard. After all it was just test results of Medicals and such, nothing to hide. Or so he thought. The doctor had started off asking him if the days leading up to the crash he had been feeling alright, had he felt like himself and so on. He had told him yes, he wasn't having a breakdown and he certainly hadn't meant to crash that car. Then the doctor had gone on to ask him about the current medication he was taking prescribed by his doctors. Jackson had jumped in the, telling the doctor the exact names of each medication and how much of what at what times. It was then that Aaron began to look guilty, the builder had noticed and started to call him up on it, asking why he looked so guilty.

Aaron then confessed he had lost his medication for the anxiety a week before the accident and had altered his medication to compensate for the loss of anxiety pills. Jackson had hit the roof, raging about stupid and irresponsible it was to do such a thing. How incredibly selfish it was and how it was his fault he was now in hospital after brain surgery, blood transfusion and loss of strength in his left side because the head injury he had sustained. How could he be so selfish? Did he not think their children would want there dad around? What gave him the right to gamble with their children's chance to have a whole family that had suffered no loss.

Aaron being just as stubborn as Jackson had thought it was prime time to bring up his suspicions of Mason trying to worm his way into Jacksons life, moaning about him between themselves and having node little meet ups with the kids. Jackson was his, not masons he was furious that Jackson was most probably telling him how much of a bad parent he was, how much of a feels he could be.

The builder didn't stand for that. He stood up for mason especially when Aaron claimed that the coach most probably was waiting for him to kick the bucket in hospital so he could have Jackson and his kids all to himself. That wasn't happening. At the moment Aaron was doing a fine job of pushing Jackson away. It was his fault he was in that accident because he was over prescribing himself on medication, it was his fault that he had had to turn to mason for support when it wasn't only Aaron going through a hard time. He had had enough, that was why he had walked on Aaron, leaving the younger man propped up in bed with a bunch of cushions keeping him up right on his left side looking pale and angry.

Neither had spoken to each other since that day and it had been over a week ago. Aaron was now home. Well, living with Chas. when Paddy, Hazel and Chas had heard of the fall out they had both tried to make them patch things up, they had too much to lose and both of them needed each but it seemed they both far to infuriated with each other to see past it all. So when it came to Aaron being discharged on the following Wednesday, it was sorted that he was to go stay with Chas. She could look after him, as he was still very weak, his left still not having much strength to carry out the simplest of tasks. Aaron was now having to walk relying on using a crutch to help him get around and was scheduled to attend physio three times a week to get himself back to normal as quickly as possible. He wasn't happy that he was living with his mum. He wanted to be at home with the kids, getting better in his own home and the kids making him happy. Not sent from the confines of the hospital room to the confines of his mothers house.

It was now Friday and he was sitting in the lounge watching mindless daytime tv. He had managed to prop his left side up against the arm of the sofa and was carrying out his physio exercises as he watched Jeremy Kyle. He had been given a green coloured soft ball, one that reminded him of the novelty stress balls, to tighten his grip around and loosen a few times to gain the strength back his hand. He had tried to hold a fork in his left hand the other night and cut up his food but the fork had fallen from his grip landing loudly on the plate with a clatter making himself jump and his mum. She had insisted on cutting his food up then. He kept telling her no, he wasn't a child and when she didn't listen, in frustration with his condition he had flung his plate off the table onto the floor. He regretted it instantly but was so annoyed with himself. It was his fault that he was in this condition Jackson was right. It was his own fault there was no one else to blame but himself. He had seen Freddie and Erin the day he had gotten out of hospital, Freddie asking a bunch of questions that he couldn't then answer himself. He wanted to know why he daddies were so upset and why they weren't all living together anymore. It had upset him. It was his fault that Freddie was so confused.

He was determined to get his strength back on his left side as quickly as possible, he was not going to let it affect him anymore than it had to. He was already banned from work for a at least a week until he recovered from his head injury. Cain had told him he was not stepping foot onto the forecourt if he knew what was good for him.

It was getting to him already that he couldn't do things for the kids whilst he was stuck at Chas's house. He should be there doing things for them, picking Freddie up from school or washing their clothes not stuck on his back side doing absolutely nothing. He knew it wasn't good for him. He needed to get out he couldn't keep himself trapped inside all the time. Things were going to start getting to him.

Chas had left for work well over an hour again. She had made them both lunch, chatting away as he tried to watch tv afterwards and to his relief then vanished to get ready for work and leave. Leaving him on his own for a good few hours. It was nearing the time to pick Freddie up from school, something he usually did every day. Deciding against better judgment Aaron struggled to get himself into 'his' room, were he fiddled around trying to get a jacket on for a good few minutes and putting his feet into a pair of a shoes. He swore under his breath when he struggled to tie his laces, his left hand not working how he wanted it to. Instead he rummaged further round the room, finding a pair of lace up boots but with zips on the inside side. He ditched his favourite pair of trainers and put them on instead. Grabbing his hospital issued crutch, he deemed himself fit enough to go all the way into Hotton to pick up his son from school.

On his way out he grabbed his wallet, phone and set of keys given to him by his mum and locked the house up. He wasn't too yards down the road before somebody began speaking to him. It was Bob, asking him if he was alright. Everyone had heard what had happened, it had been all over the village. It was the first time he had even stepped outside since leaving the hospital.

"You alright lad?" Bob asked, walking over to him from the other side of the road. "Getting yourself up and about a bit now are you?"

"Yeah" Aaron answered.

"That's good, everyone was upset when they heard what had happened. Your mum said in the pub the other night your going to physio, how's that going?"

"Yeah that's going alright thanks". Aaron told him a little embarrassed why was his mum going around telling everyone.

"- Aaron?! Aaron, what are you doing up and about? Your meant to be inside taking it easy!" Hazel boomed from several metres away then coming out of David's shop.

Aaron groaned, dipping his head hoping she would disappear.

"Aaron, you're meant to be putting your feet up and getting better!" Hazel scolded as she got closer.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Bob grimaced, ducking back into the cafe.

"I know, I'm just popping down the road." Aaron told her vaguely. If he told her the truth she would make sure he was back home, sitting down and doing nothing. Even though Jackson and himself had had a fall out that didn't seem to effect the way Hazel was with him.

Hazel eyed him up and down, as if she didn't believe him. "You better be." She warned him. "I'm now off he anyway, going to cook tea."

Aaron smiled at her, thankful she had brought it.

"You better not be doing anymore than a few steps Aaron, if not ill send your mother after you and we all know how she will be, don't we?"

"Yeah yeah." Aaron mumbled before Hazel left him to it.

Getting into town was a little more difficult than he thought it would be. With only one fully functioning side, while his other let him down poorly and hobbling about on a crutch, it was all a bit of a fuss for him. He managed to reach Freddie's school. It had been arranged since leaving hospital that Freddie would be picked up Jackson after school and taken to Hazels while he went back to work until six. It was a sensible decision made. Aaron could barely look after himself at the moment let alone a hyper little boy and a baby girl, who also spent the day with her grandma whilst Jackson worked. He missed the kids, he missed Jackson. He was determined to get back to his old self and back in their lives.

He stood by the school hates waiting for Freddie to be let out of school, unaware of the familiar blue van parking up a few metres away down the road before Jackson climbed out and made his way over.

The older builder sighed when he saw his partner, looking lost and still rather fragile standing by the school gates with all the other parents waiting to pick up their children. He wasn't sure what to do. He hasn't spoken to Aaron since their huge blow up in the hospital only arranging through their parents acting as referees half of the time. Now he saw him he was feeling a bit sorry for him, maybe he had been too hard on him.

"Aren't you meant to be recovering at home?" Jackson asked the younger man as he walked up behind and stood beside him.

Aaron shot his head round to familiar voice, it seemed like weeks since he had heard that voice.

"What are you doing here Aaron?" Jackson asked him. He wasn't looking to cause a scene, especially not in front of all the parents.

"I've come to pick Freddie up from school, I should have called you to let you know. . . I must have forgot." Aaron said, shaking his head, wobbling a bit on his crutch. "I've missed him, both of them . . . And you."

That tugged at Jacksons heart strings. Aaron looking so vulnerable and telling him how much he missed them all. He was the one who suggested it wasn't good for him to come back home to them all, that it would be better if he got healthy again at home. It wasn't good for their children to be around them both when there was so much between them right now. He could see it wasn't doing the younger man any good at all.

"How did you get here?" Jackson questioned.

"By bus, a little tricky but . . . " Aaron shrugged as if it was nothing. He would walk through fire to see his kids. It wasn't as if he had trouble getting on and off the bus with his left side refusing to work, the bus driver offering on both occasions to help him for him to stubbornly turn the help down and to struggle walking the small stretch from the bus stop to the school gates like it was a massive hike up the largest mountain in earth with a dead leg.

"Must have been." Jackson commented.

"Daddy!" Freddie screamed a few metres away as he launched himself across the playground and wrapped himself around Aaron's legs, knocking him backwards off his already unsteady balance. If it wasn't for Jackson they would have both ended up a heap on the floor, his partners hand catching him on the small of his back.

"Careful buddy, daddy is still a little wobbly." Jackson warned their son.

"Hey, I'm okay. Its nothing." Aaron argued, hugging Freddie back.

"I've missed you daddy." Freddie told him looking up at him with a small pout.

"I've missed you too mate."

"Are you home now?" Freddie continued.

"No, I'm not." Aaron answered sadly, he wanted nothing more than to be back with them all. But he had ruined Jacksons trust, all because of his stupidity and jumped to silly conclusions.

"But why not?!" Freddie whined.

"Not now Freddie." Jackson said, patting in him on the back.

"But I want daddy to live with us!"

Aaron shakily tried to lower himself down to Freddie's level, crouching down unsteadily he placed an hand on Freddie's shoulder. "I will be back living with you real soon, I promise but I have to get better first-"

"You can get better at home."

Aaron shook his head. "I can't, I'll get better quicker with nanny chas." that's something he thought he would never hear himself say, that woman drove him made some days.

"In the mean time you can still see him loads." Jackson told the little boy.

"Yeah, of course you can." Aaron smiled.

"Right buddy. I need to be getting you back, as I need to be back at work myself soon." The builder announced.

"I can take him back, that way you can get back to work." The younger man said.

"Nah, you're alright, how are you gonna get him back anyway?" Jackson questioned.

"Bus." Aaron answered trying to stand up from his position crouched down.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. He could barely hold his balance let alone get a bus. "Come on ill take you all home."

"No, I don't wanna-"

"Aaron just get in the van before you fall over." Jackson ordered, just like old times.

They all sat in Jacksons van and enjoyed a normal journey home from Freddie's school. All laughing and joking around like nothing had happened. It was all fine until they all climbed out of the van. Freddie jumped out like he was trying to make himself fly for a few seconds, sprinting off into Hazels house while Jackson and Aaron got out themselves. Jackson was the first out, walking round to Aaron's side as he gingerly shuffled out the cabin.

"Here let me help."

"I don't need any help!" Aaron had snapped, out of nowhere.

Jackson laughed, at how suddenly he was brought back to reality. He knew it had been to good to be true. He was reminded all over again at how stubborn and stupid Aaron was.

"What?"

"Nothing." Jackson said.


End file.
